Longing For Younger Days

I was worried tonight that I was going to miss the start of the MLB All-Star Game. I had heard it promoted as a 7:45 start on ESPN radio. Fox told me to check in around 8:00. So, imagine my surprise when I was able to switch away from some other shows around 8:45 and still catch the first pitch. Of course, this is all tongue-in-cheek. Of course I knew the game wouldn't get started until close to 9:00. The event is more about the lead up now than the actual event. I understand that to a point. These media companies need to make money.

It's why I was not upset about LeBronapalooza last week. ESPN had to take that show. If not them, someone else gets great ratings and the profits that come from that. If anybody is to blame, it's the entourage surrounding LeBron, for putting that sham together. (Although, I do think the charitable benefit of the Decision is not being talked about enough) I am probably only bitter because Jim Gray was bought...err... selected to be the interviewer. I don't understand his reputation. I guess I still haven't gotten over his sensational, "look at me," interview with Pete Rose at the All-Star game in 1999. There are times and places to ask the tough questions or conduct the softball interview. At least, that's my opinion.

Which leads us back full circle to my mood tonight. Why do I not care one bit about the All-Star game? This is the same game I had to beg my mother to let me stay up (while with the flu) to watch 20 years ago because I wanted to see Andre Dawson play. I remember the Home Run Derby being the ultimate competition, one that I re-enacted in my backyard for 364 more days, with some creative help from a large bush, the neighbors fence and some juiced (grass stuffed) whiffle balls. So, what happened? I don't think my aging lost anything.

This may be a bit of a stretch, but I think the All-Star game meltdown is a larger symptom of the disease of sports athletes; where increased salaries and egos have taken away much of the older joys of sports. I'll spare some sort of lecture here.

Is it still an honor to be an All-Star? Of course it is. But, I don't remember the game resembling Kinder Care and MASH back in the 1980s. There are more players sitting with mild bruises, or bringing their litter of children to the game than ever before. Why? Because they can. With so much money invested in them, they are spoiled, yet high-risk investments. Thanks to the egos, everybody has to play too, so we get a scripted chorus line of players.

How does baseball try to fix it? By concocting some scheme where home field advantage in the World Series is riding on a game where the best of the best aren't even playing in crunch time. Brilliant! If anything, I think that rule made the game harder for me to watch. I actually find myself confused about whether the players are having fun, sort of trying or showboating. And the rule eliminates any possibility of Chan Ho Park Part 2, serving up a glory home run to Cal Ripken Jr.

So, I sit here tonight, enjoying the fact that Ryan Braun laid out to catch a fly ball (I would too if I has having his season; gotta justify that starting spot), but wondering if the players care enough about the game to put on a show worth watching. And, on a parallel thought, how we have removed ourselves from caring about the "stars" because of the 24-7 access we have to them. I want to DVR this game and watch every inning like it's a World Series contest, but I just can't. Hola, Hills series finale!

- Will

I promise... Last one

I am not as big of an NBA fan as the recent trend of blog topics would lead one to believe. But, let's face it, what has there been to really discuss this summer? Golf has been underwhelming since the Masters (nobody won the US Open; several people lost it). Baseball is boring right now (well, to me) because the Cubs stink and I can't find a good story line. The Rangers are a nice team, but are handcuffed to make any moves because they owe MLB a bazillion-gillion dollars. And don't get me started on Steven Strasburg (I hope I spelled it wrong)... Kid has amazing stuff, but nobody is worth this hype, especially somebody who plays for the Nationals.

We are quickly approaching what I want to become a national holiday for women: National Guys Don't Watch Sports Day (this year, it falls on Wednesday, July 14th) - It's the day when there is not one major professional or collegiate sporting event taking place. ESPN should run color bars for 24 hours and save some electricity. Every guy should buy his woman a handful of flowers, take her out somewhere with candles and wine (from a bottle) and maybe even treat her to an Amanda Seyfried movie. BUT... We are not there yet.

And, yes, after the NBA ruined my Draft experience last week (I am still looking for Rick Bucher; There was so little drama that night that he could've gone fishing with Cleveland's talent scouts; I am also still looking for Jon Barry's personality), I am going forward with one more NBA blog because the association continues to be the top story thanks to free agents. Basketball Hot Stove time!!!!

On the record, let me say that I am deeply sickened that we glamorize the sucking-up, greed and backstabbing that will take place over the next few weeks. Somebody will sign with a team because $126 million is better than $97 million. Hard to swallow these days. But, the best athletes carry the unnecessary hopes of cities and fans, so we eat this drama up like women ages 15-26 in front of a Taylor Lautner poster (side note: I don't get it with that kid. He works out, but talks like Alvin wrapping up chipmunk puberty. It would be like Jessica Biel opening her mouth and Tone Loc's voice magically appearing)

I don't know what I want to happen in NBA free agency. As a quasi-Pacers fan, I know they won't do anything and I think they are in a great position to make some deals and position themselves. Beyond that, is it good to have a super team in Miami or Chicago? Do we want teams to overpay and root for an ACL tear somewhere? Let's just agree on a list of the top 7 NBA free agents this off-season. I am going with:

1) The King

2) Dwade

3) Dirk

4) Bosh

5) Amare

6) Boozer

7) Pierce

Apologies to Joe Johnson, Rudy Gay and Brian Scalabrine for not cracking the top 7. Actually, no, I am not going to apologize. Dem boyz gonna get paid. Well, except for everybody's favorite towel waiver.

So, to greatly increase my interest in the league, here are where I hope all of those players end up. Working from bottom to top...

Pierce - I want him to re-sign with Boston. Then, I want Ray Allen to move on, Kevin Garnett to develop Greg Oden knee disease and Rajon Rondo to accidentally tie his massive hands in an unbreakable knot. Paul Pierce will be forced to buy out his own contract (or pay off Antoine Walker's casino debts) just to get away from the carnage. Sorry, that was harsh, but I am done with the Celtics. They ruined it for everybody with the "we laughed at the luxury tax and brought 3 Hall of Famers to win us a title but now we're the disrespected underdog" card.

Boozer - This is too easy. He signs a max deal with Cleveland, the franchise he left alone in their tuxedo on prom night back in 2004. Would this happen? Never. But could you imagine. Cleveland loses their savior (sorry, spoiler) and gets back the last All-Star player they had who flew the coop with a verbal agreement in hand. Brilliant. He would get Benedict Arnold treatment every night and Cavs fans would be in basketball purgatory. Deliciously evil.

Amare - I want him to work out a sign-and-trade that puts him on the Lakers. It makes no sense from a basketball standpoint, but from a fashion standpoint, hear me out. Nobody has worn the "goggles" quite as well since James Worthy. Yes, Horace Grant is the champion in this category, but in a completely different universer. The full rectangular rec specs could only be worn by a legend, so Horace is in his own world. Amare would bring more Showtime back to LA, in eyewear fashion. You know you see it...

Bosh - This is a tough one because I honestly don't think Bosh is any type of player, for two completely unrelated reasons:

1) He has never helped carry his team, in Toronto, to any level of success. Even big men can do that. Combine that with a reported desire to get paid like a #1 player, I don't think he gets it.

2) I got the chance to watch his younger brother, Joel, play a couple of college games for Alabama State. Wow was he big and intimidating like his brother. So much so that he averaged around 6 & 4 for his career. If you are going to be The Man, your skills better transcend beyond you. (Yes, that made no sense. I just wanted kudos for having seen Chris Bosh's brother play for Alabama State)

3) What, I said only two? Well, I've got one more: Bosh has said he wants to go somewhere where he doesn't have to play the 5 spot undersized. True winners and players who like to get physical seek out a challenge like that. So, with all of that said, I hope he signs with a team that is worthy of the agony his bloated contract will surely bring in two years: The Warriors (I should have said Clippers, but I am closet Clips fan)

Dirk - He is staying in Dallas, but please let him land in Utah. Yes, Utah. Why? So we have the long-term potential of this lineup... Deron Williams, Andrei Kirilenko, Gordon Hayward, Dirk and Mehmet Okur. Now, if only we could move Williams for Steve Nash or Steve Blake or White Chocolate. An all white NBA starting lineup would be reverse racism, yet shockingly appropriate in Salt Lake City. Yes, I know, pit nickers... I put two SFs in the lineup. Had to get Hayward in there. Had to.

Dwade - I like him for every reason imaginable: great skill set, warrior mentality, amazingly clutch, loyal to his current team, defender, 3-year college player. What is not to like?! He is Kobe without a 'Whoops' (also known as a misdemeanor Tiger) on his public record. Therefore, I believe he should get the best treatment and media story of all... Chicago. Go home, son. Could you imagine him and Derrick Rose as a backcourt?! They would lock fools down, and if somebody dared dribble past them, Joakim Noah would be there to block the shot with his breath, hair and (hate to say it now) talent. This marriage makes way too much sense but doesn't appear at all likely to happen.

Which leads us to...

The King - LeBron is butchering his image in this process. I don't understand why the hands-down best player of his generation needs to pump up his ego any more with the courting, mystery and other garbage. You don't know if he will take a chance with the Jay-Z/Vodka dynasty in New Brooklyn, or seriously consider sharing a free agent signing spotlight with another player (gasp) in Chicago or Miami [another side note: I want to see Miami end up with no players; literally, they would have a roster with no players except Michael Beasley. Awesome] All of this said, I want LeBron to end up on the Akron Assailants. Don't bother Googling them. The franchise doesn't exist. What if LeBron isn't wooed enough, doesn't like any setting perfectly and eventually burns enough bridges that there isn't a spot where both sides are happy? Flex some muscle, go to the one town where everybody will always love you, and petition David Stern to give you a brand new franchise in Akron. This is so out-of-this-world, it might be a possibility. Better yet, screw the NBA. Start your own franchise in Akron, bring in some D-league cities and start your own league. Maybe Isiah is available to run the whole thing.

Gotta run... I just heard the Knicks limo pull up outside my house...

- Will