Back From The Dead

Thanks to the inability of the Hawks (wow), the Spurs (Steve Nash's swollen eye just made him my favorite basketball ever... this week) and the Jazz (apparently Game 4 wasn't necessary), the only NBA playoff series left (and worth watching, I guess) is the surprising Cavs-Celtics series.

At the time I started writing this, Jesus hit a 3 to give Beantown a 21-point lead... IN Cleveland. What the hell? Who performed the voodoo on Boston? This team was 5.9 feet under ground heading into the playoffs.

(15-point game now... Maybe I can blog the Cavs back into the game)

((I have no rooting interest))

(((I can't believe I am blogging this much about the Association)))

Rajon Rondo just hit a big 3. When did he learn how to shoot? He had a better chance of getting turned down for free 'massages' in Lexington during his college days then hitting an outside jump shot. I still remember covering Rondo in the NCAA Tournament. His hands are alienesque. Freak nasty hands. He could palm a ball and still drink a cup of tea with the Queen, you know, because that would be fun.

(18-point game nearing the end of the 3rd; Maybe I can keep this up and finish a relevant blog)

The Celtics resurgence and willingness to mockingly laugh in the face of the AARP made me think about how many things get surprisingly better with age. Garnett, Ray-Jesus, Pierce, Sheed (okay, maybe not Sheed) and Finley should all be nursing ice bags and Centrum Silver, but they are finding ways to play beautifully. What else in my life compares in the department of "better with age"...

Wine

I know, I know, this is too easy, but think about it: When you went to college and somebody mentioned wine, you shivered. You would honestly rather shoot a Four Horsemen then drink a glass of Merlot. The other night at a dinner, I talked to somebody for 10 minutes on the flavor differences between a Shiraz, a Cabernet and the 'blow-your-mind' Shiraz-Cab blend. WTF?!?! Somebody kick me in the balls and had me a High Life. But seriously, when did the palette shift? It really does get better as you age. Weird.

(Celtics up 22 now early in the 4th. Does this officially push Lebron to a bigger market? Oh, the shame!!)

U2

I really struggled to think of the perfect band for here. I toyed with Black Crowes, The Eagles and even Billy Joel, but this was a no-brainer. I am 29-years-old, so I grew up in the midst of the alternative movement. Too young to really grasp The Joshua Tree, and the songs on the radio did not do U2 any justice. Throw them in with a group like REM as a band that was cool to people 5-years older than me, but not edgy enough to compete with the noise to hang with Nirvana, Pearl Jam (oooh, a candidate for better with age) and the rest. But then Bono and the Edge kept plugging away. [Side note: The Edge doesn't get enough credit for his guitar playing. He's up there; way up there. Listen to the sound he gets out of his guitar]

Now, it helps that U2 is incredibly culturally relevant, but don't tell me you don't walk with more pep in your step when 'Where the Streets Have No Name' comes on. I was singing 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' with the windows down the other day. I am old, like U2, and am still somewhat cool for it. Now, I need to figure out how to wear sunglasses all day, even when indoors.

(92-68 Boston, 8:00 left; You're welcome, New England)

Yard Work

Yep, my life is a lame, suburban nightmare. I drink wine, listen to U2 and prune. I swear I am cooler than that, but am just pointing out the appreciation for things. Do I look forward to weeding and mowing the grass? Nope. But, I do it... Why? Because it's my yard damn it! I pay more money to banks, government, banks (ah, the 2nd mortgage) and insurance company that I am going to make sure my land looks good. I think I invest more in my grass than my own personal appearance. And for what? The sick satisfaction of walking my dog and seeing some dead patches and clover in my neighbor's yard and saying under my breath, "Yep, got you, fool!" [Please, dispatch professional help at any point in this blog]

(Sorry Cleveland. Don't worry, Lebron will become a reliable, clutch offensive performer soon... for the Jay-Z/Russian Nets.)

Okay, I need something really cool that gets better with age. Need to save my street cred tonight... Books? Um, napping? Ah jeez...

The Internet

Ha! Yep, I am going with the entire interwebs. Vague enough for you? Think about it from my perspective: First real group to go through all of school with some form of computers. Yes, I consider the glorified elementary babysitting of The Oregon Trail to be computer education. I remember the first time I saw the internet. I was 12. It was Prodigy. It had all of the sports scores from the night before on a computer screen. That wasn't cool, but the three-minute beep-scratch-beep-bonk dialup sound was awesome. Nothing you had ever heard. I have evolved with the internet and it only gets better. Even the dot-com bust didn't ruin it. It actually made it better because people finally realized that free access was the best. Now, I can rant into a black hole and nobody can stop me! It's the only place where in 10 seconds, I can find this, this and this and share them with EVERYBODY. The level of possibility is endless.

(110-83; Well, I guess there is always Game 6; Wait, they still have some game left? Yikes!)

Do yourself a favor, Cavs fans, just read this blog a few times to yourself and remember that some things do get better with time, including the Celtics.

[In case you were wondering, yes, this entire entry could have fit on Rondo's left hand in 12-point, Courier New font.]

- Will

The REAL Stories

I've been a bit removed from the day-to-day connection with the world thanks to a conference in New Orleans (fun to visit; couldn't do it every day) and was struck by the sports stories for this past week. In no particular order, these are the top three stories for this past week:

1) Some kid gets tased running on the field at a Phillies game. Hysterically, he called his father before doing it to ask for his advice. I'm going to make sure I call my dad the next time I think about committing genocide. "Yo dad, what do you think about my exterminating a group of people? Just wanted to run it by you."

2) Former NY Giants star Lawrence Taylor slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night. It also came with (alleged) forced prostitution with a 16-year-old. He should've used the parental controls to turn off all adult content.

3) A Virginia lacrosse player got mad at his girlfriend and beat her to death. (I can't bring myself to get humorous with that)

So, what do these three topics have in common? They have NOTHING to do with sports. Yes, read that again; it's true. One took place at a sporting event. One involved a former professional athlete. The other involved two collegiate athletes. But nothing about the stories have anything to do with the sports, the games, the X's & O's, the competition, the wins and losses. Sports journalism is competing with TMZ and every other sensational media outlet that is growing a market share because we love being the passerby of a car wreck.

It's really sad. I understand the fame and attention that comes with athletes being in the spotlight, but it ruins the good stories that are out there. And, on an even more simplistic level, it takes away from the purity of the sporting events themselves.

So, as you are no doubt one of the 14 total readers of this blog, let me shelter you from the tabloids and tragedy and give you the real stories from the past few days...

Jamie Moyer becomes the oldest pitcher to throw a complete-game shutout

Moyer is old. Crazy old. Forty-seven years old. He was born before the Beatles came to the US. He struck out a player last night (Brandon Hicks) who was born after the release of Thriller. I know baseball allows for more longevity, but my arm is sore the morning after tossing a tennis ball at the dog park. Is it surprising? Maybe not, but there are probably a few reasons:

1) He has eight children. He either is in great shape chasing them around, or needs the ballpark to escape.

2) His father-in-law is Digger Phelps. Yep, THAT Digger Phelps. Motivation to stay away from the family BBQs

3) He can still throw 105 pitches in nine innings, give up just two hits and dominate a roster full of millionaires.

Yeah, I think #3 might be the winner.

The NBA started playing basketball (except in Atlanta)

I've gone to this topic before, but NBA playoff basketball is getting compelling. Possessions matter, games are competitive, and nice little storylines are developing. I am not scheduling my nights around tip times in NBA cities yet, but there are some good little histories being written, and we still haven't gotten out of the second round. In order from least to most entertaining...

1) Orlando throttling Atlanta - In today's game 3, they showed a graphic of the most lopsided series in the last 30 years of the playoffs. If you are a Hawks fan, this is depressing for two reasons. It was relevant at the moment (The Magic turned it into a laugher early enough) AND the producers found it interesting enough to build heading into just the third game of the series. Buh-bye Atlanta.

2) The Phoenix Suns are playoff relevant - I would generally dump the San Antonio Spurs at this moment because they are aging (this excuse doesn't mean as much because of 'see below'), and an infusion of Richard Jefferson does not make you a title contender. But, how about the Suns? Steve Nash is saving white-man hoops and is entirely too much fun to watch. D'Antoni ball version 2.1 might actually be something.

3) The Cavs will beat the Celtics BUT... - What was Game 2? I'll tell you: A reason to watch the series. Outside of LeBron being the freak athlete of my generation, the resurrection of Boston was compelling, up until Bron Bron looked down at his jersey (well, maybe he saw his name on the back of a jersey in the mirror) and decided to play. But, riddle me this... Because of what Rondo and the C's were able to do in Game 2, you still want to watch Game 4.

4) The Lakers are must-see TV - Gasol is playing like it matters. Kobe is an alpha dog who finds ways to get things done. Artest is publicly complaining about his coach, but holding onto his sanity. How long can that last? There is no way the Lakers shouldn't make the Finals. And, despite regular season results, I see no reason why they should ever lose a seven-game series. But, something could go wrong, right? Whether or not you like the Lakers, you have to watch them. There is something fun about it.

Lefty can overtake Tiger for #1 in the world

Something weird happened this week. A bunch of media members covering the Tiger Woods train wreck ran out of train wreck material. Can't you see this at Sawgrass: A bunch of news reporters show up with no new questions, no new skanks, no new midnight sex runs and they need a story. 'Hmm, what is Tiger doing this week? Playing golf??' Yep, the amount of coverage has come full circle and now we are talking about golf.

It's refreshing. Tiger's rounds are being live blogged, interrupted on news shows and dissected completely. But, it is becoming a remarkable case study in how distractions can alter the performance of the absolute best. He has had his world flipped and now can't hit a fairway. As a golfer, I honestly think it legitimizes the game more. Either that, or every 15-handicapper with a Saturday morning tee time is feeling up his wife the night before. Sorry ladies.

To stay or to go

Today was the deadline for college players to leave their names in the NBA Draft. Big story for me and Indy: Gordon Hayward is going professional. Anybody with any knowledge on the situation knew he was gone the moment he put his name in. Actually, he was probably gone the moment he stepped foot on the floor of that championship game.

I don't want to label the decisions of players who kept their names in the draft as smart (Hayward), questionable (Jordan Crawford) or downright idiotic (hello, Samardo Samuels), but the whole process does shine a light on the crazed attitude of fans out there. Grown men who hide behind the anonymity of a message board and preach about why a young man should or shouldn't do something. Nobody can tell me that their opinion is better than Hayward's. But, somehow the purchasing of a ticket has given a complete stranger and unfounded ownership over his decisions. Maybe I can capitalize on this. Tomorrow, I am going to tell my hairdresser to sell her car. After that, my insurance agent will get a new paint scheme on his house, courtesy of me. And I'll wrap my day by making sure my neighbor mows my lawn. After all, he did take my advice on a good restaurant the other day.

See, good things happened this week. The NHL series are great, especially if you live in Philly or Boston. The level of hatred between the two is palpable. The Cubs have a 20-year-old All Star in the making playing shortstop now. JaMarcus Russell is no longer a Raider, but is still an Eater. See, there is actual sports to follow.

Check that... Apparently the Saints coaching staff abuses pain killers. Perhaps they bought it from Brian Cushing's dealer. Ugh...

- Will