Longing For Younger Days

I was worried tonight that I was going to miss the start of the MLB All-Star Game. I had heard it promoted as a 7:45 start on ESPN radio. Fox told me to check in around 8:00. So, imagine my surprise when I was able to switch away from some other shows around 8:45 and still catch the first pitch. Of course, this is all tongue-in-cheek. Of course I knew the game wouldn't get started until close to 9:00. The event is more about the lead up now than the actual event. I understand that to a point. These media companies need to make money.

It's why I was not upset about LeBronapalooza last week. ESPN had to take that show. If not them, someone else gets great ratings and the profits that come from that. If anybody is to blame, it's the entourage surrounding LeBron, for putting that sham together. (Although, I do think the charitable benefit of the Decision is not being talked about enough) I am probably only bitter because Jim Gray was bought...err... selected to be the interviewer. I don't understand his reputation. I guess I still haven't gotten over his sensational, "look at me," interview with Pete Rose at the All-Star game in 1999. There are times and places to ask the tough questions or conduct the softball interview. At least, that's my opinion.

Which leads us back full circle to my mood tonight. Why do I not care one bit about the All-Star game? This is the same game I had to beg my mother to let me stay up (while with the flu) to watch 20 years ago because I wanted to see Andre Dawson play. I remember the Home Run Derby being the ultimate competition, one that I re-enacted in my backyard for 364 more days, with some creative help from a large bush, the neighbors fence and some juiced (grass stuffed) whiffle balls. So, what happened? I don't think my aging lost anything.

This may be a bit of a stretch, but I think the All-Star game meltdown is a larger symptom of the disease of sports athletes; where increased salaries and egos have taken away much of the older joys of sports. I'll spare some sort of lecture here.

Is it still an honor to be an All-Star? Of course it is. But, I don't remember the game resembling Kinder Care and MASH back in the 1980s. There are more players sitting with mild bruises, or bringing their litter of children to the game than ever before. Why? Because they can. With so much money invested in them, they are spoiled, yet high-risk investments. Thanks to the egos, everybody has to play too, so we get a scripted chorus line of players.

How does baseball try to fix it? By concocting some scheme where home field advantage in the World Series is riding on a game where the best of the best aren't even playing in crunch time. Brilliant! If anything, I think that rule made the game harder for me to watch. I actually find myself confused about whether the players are having fun, sort of trying or showboating. And the rule eliminates any possibility of Chan Ho Park Part 2, serving up a glory home run to Cal Ripken Jr.

So, I sit here tonight, enjoying the fact that Ryan Braun laid out to catch a fly ball (I would too if I has having his season; gotta justify that starting spot), but wondering if the players care enough about the game to put on a show worth watching. And, on a parallel thought, how we have removed ourselves from caring about the "stars" because of the 24-7 access we have to them. I want to DVR this game and watch every inning like it's a World Series contest, but I just can't. Hola, Hills series finale!

- Will

I promise... Last one

I am not as big of an NBA fan as the recent trend of blog topics would lead one to believe. But, let's face it, what has there been to really discuss this summer? Golf has been underwhelming since the Masters (nobody won the US Open; several people lost it). Baseball is boring right now (well, to me) because the Cubs stink and I can't find a good story line. The Rangers are a nice team, but are handcuffed to make any moves because they owe MLB a bazillion-gillion dollars. And don't get me started on Steven Strasburg (I hope I spelled it wrong)... Kid has amazing stuff, but nobody is worth this hype, especially somebody who plays for the Nationals.

We are quickly approaching what I want to become a national holiday for women: National Guys Don't Watch Sports Day (this year, it falls on Wednesday, July 14th) - It's the day when there is not one major professional or collegiate sporting event taking place. ESPN should run color bars for 24 hours and save some electricity. Every guy should buy his woman a handful of flowers, take her out somewhere with candles and wine (from a bottle) and maybe even treat her to an Amanda Seyfried movie. BUT... We are not there yet.

And, yes, after the NBA ruined my Draft experience last week (I am still looking for Rick Bucher; There was so little drama that night that he could've gone fishing with Cleveland's talent scouts; I am also still looking for Jon Barry's personality), I am going forward with one more NBA blog because the association continues to be the top story thanks to free agents. Basketball Hot Stove time!!!!

On the record, let me say that I am deeply sickened that we glamorize the sucking-up, greed and backstabbing that will take place over the next few weeks. Somebody will sign with a team because $126 million is better than $97 million. Hard to swallow these days. But, the best athletes carry the unnecessary hopes of cities and fans, so we eat this drama up like women ages 15-26 in front of a Taylor Lautner poster (side note: I don't get it with that kid. He works out, but talks like Alvin wrapping up chipmunk puberty. It would be like Jessica Biel opening her mouth and Tone Loc's voice magically appearing)

I don't know what I want to happen in NBA free agency. As a quasi-Pacers fan, I know they won't do anything and I think they are in a great position to make some deals and position themselves. Beyond that, is it good to have a super team in Miami or Chicago? Do we want teams to overpay and root for an ACL tear somewhere? Let's just agree on a list of the top 7 NBA free agents this off-season. I am going with:

1) The King

2) Dwade

3) Dirk

4) Bosh

5) Amare

6) Boozer

7) Pierce

Apologies to Joe Johnson, Rudy Gay and Brian Scalabrine for not cracking the top 7. Actually, no, I am not going to apologize. Dem boyz gonna get paid. Well, except for everybody's favorite towel waiver.

So, to greatly increase my interest in the league, here are where I hope all of those players end up. Working from bottom to top...

Pierce - I want him to re-sign with Boston. Then, I want Ray Allen to move on, Kevin Garnett to develop Greg Oden knee disease and Rajon Rondo to accidentally tie his massive hands in an unbreakable knot. Paul Pierce will be forced to buy out his own contract (or pay off Antoine Walker's casino debts) just to get away from the carnage. Sorry, that was harsh, but I am done with the Celtics. They ruined it for everybody with the "we laughed at the luxury tax and brought 3 Hall of Famers to win us a title but now we're the disrespected underdog" card.

Boozer - This is too easy. He signs a max deal with Cleveland, the franchise he left alone in their tuxedo on prom night back in 2004. Would this happen? Never. But could you imagine. Cleveland loses their savior (sorry, spoiler) and gets back the last All-Star player they had who flew the coop with a verbal agreement in hand. Brilliant. He would get Benedict Arnold treatment every night and Cavs fans would be in basketball purgatory. Deliciously evil.

Amare - I want him to work out a sign-and-trade that puts him on the Lakers. It makes no sense from a basketball standpoint, but from a fashion standpoint, hear me out. Nobody has worn the "goggles" quite as well since James Worthy. Yes, Horace Grant is the champion in this category, but in a completely different universer. The full rectangular rec specs could only be worn by a legend, so Horace is in his own world. Amare would bring more Showtime back to LA, in eyewear fashion. You know you see it...

Bosh - This is a tough one because I honestly don't think Bosh is any type of player, for two completely unrelated reasons:

1) He has never helped carry his team, in Toronto, to any level of success. Even big men can do that. Combine that with a reported desire to get paid like a #1 player, I don't think he gets it.

2) I got the chance to watch his younger brother, Joel, play a couple of college games for Alabama State. Wow was he big and intimidating like his brother. So much so that he averaged around 6 & 4 for his career. If you are going to be The Man, your skills better transcend beyond you. (Yes, that made no sense. I just wanted kudos for having seen Chris Bosh's brother play for Alabama State)

3) What, I said only two? Well, I've got one more: Bosh has said he wants to go somewhere where he doesn't have to play the 5 spot undersized. True winners and players who like to get physical seek out a challenge like that. So, with all of that said, I hope he signs with a team that is worthy of the agony his bloated contract will surely bring in two years: The Warriors (I should have said Clippers, but I am closet Clips fan)

Dirk - He is staying in Dallas, but please let him land in Utah. Yes, Utah. Why? So we have the long-term potential of this lineup... Deron Williams, Andrei Kirilenko, Gordon Hayward, Dirk and Mehmet Okur. Now, if only we could move Williams for Steve Nash or Steve Blake or White Chocolate. An all white NBA starting lineup would be reverse racism, yet shockingly appropriate in Salt Lake City. Yes, I know, pit nickers... I put two SFs in the lineup. Had to get Hayward in there. Had to.

Dwade - I like him for every reason imaginable: great skill set, warrior mentality, amazingly clutch, loyal to his current team, defender, 3-year college player. What is not to like?! He is Kobe without a 'Whoops' (also known as a misdemeanor Tiger) on his public record. Therefore, I believe he should get the best treatment and media story of all... Chicago. Go home, son. Could you imagine him and Derrick Rose as a backcourt?! They would lock fools down, and if somebody dared dribble past them, Joakim Noah would be there to block the shot with his breath, hair and (hate to say it now) talent. This marriage makes way too much sense but doesn't appear at all likely to happen.

Which leads us to...

The King - LeBron is butchering his image in this process. I don't understand why the hands-down best player of his generation needs to pump up his ego any more with the courting, mystery and other garbage. You don't know if he will take a chance with the Jay-Z/Vodka dynasty in New Brooklyn, or seriously consider sharing a free agent signing spotlight with another player (gasp) in Chicago or Miami [another side note: I want to see Miami end up with no players; literally, they would have a roster with no players except Michael Beasley. Awesome] All of this said, I want LeBron to end up on the Akron Assailants. Don't bother Googling them. The franchise doesn't exist. What if LeBron isn't wooed enough, doesn't like any setting perfectly and eventually burns enough bridges that there isn't a spot where both sides are happy? Flex some muscle, go to the one town where everybody will always love you, and petition David Stern to give you a brand new franchise in Akron. This is so out-of-this-world, it might be a possibility. Better yet, screw the NBA. Start your own franchise in Akron, bring in some D-league cities and start your own league. Maybe Isiah is available to run the whole thing.

Gotta run... I just heard the Knicks limo pull up outside my house...

- Will

The NBA Draft Live Blog/Chat

In a week where we have an epic soccer ending and the world's longest tennis match (seriously, that thing defies all reasonable rules of reality), my world is still revolving out of my greatest guilty pleasure in sports, and an opportunity for me to totally nerd out: The NBA Draft!!!

It is seriously awesome. The best draft of all the sports for a number of reasons:

1) Unlike the NFL, picks happen with good flow (5 minutes in between)

2) Unlike the NFL, there is a rookie salary scale that allows for more trades

3) Unlike MLB, you know who the players are

4) Unlike hockey, well....... is there a draft on TV for that?

5) And you get ginormous men in ridiculous suits shaking hands with David Stern

The live chat was derailed by an evening of lackluster drama and few moves, not to mention a poorly thought-out ESPN broadcasting crew that could not keep the energy up. So, after the dust settles, expect a meaningless post grading the draft picks. I need to grade all of the upside potential before I get to it though. Oh, and start shopping for Gordon Hayward Jazz jerseys.

Selling Soccer

I played soccer for one season as a kid. We ran around, got some grass stains and a nice little participation trophy (don't get me started; ruining this country), but there just wasn't enough action. It also wasn't the niche, cool sport to play. I just didn't get it.

But, I can't be a hypocrite and sit here bashing soccer. I like sports. I like them so much that I can watch 3 hours of the St. Jude PGA tournament, flip over to catch a little beach volleyball and also check out 24 hours of sport car racing. All of this without an intervention or professional help. So, I respect and enjoy international soccer. It takes endurance, impeccable timing, some serious flopping (hey, it happens everywhere) and a little strategy.

Soccer also has the largest, most faithful fanbases in all of sports. Who am I to argue with that? You have people who will make less in their lives than what Darrelle Revis isn't making enough of now, who will mortgage everything to paint their face, blow on a horn for 90+ minutes for a nil-nil draw. I'll admit, as much as the action on the field makes me want to mainline horse steroids, the drama of who will score next is captivating. So we have the World Cup, the ultimate bragging rights for a country. Where Switzerland can sneak one goal past the Spaniards and spark riots and suicidal thoughts from Malaga to Pamplona. This doesn't happen in an NFL game. Last I checked, I made it to work the day after Tracy Porter pick-sixed Peyton.

So, everybody set your DVRs and don't forget to factor in stoppage time. Pick a third-world country that couldn't afford the sales tax in Oregon and root, root, root for the underdog. Or just hope that the USA can finally find a way to conquer an unchartered mountain.

Now, as an American, of course I have some ideas to make soccer a little more US friendly. Why? Because we're American, which means we value our opinions and have the attention span of a toddler...

1) Steal from Hockey - The Stanley Cup Finals was amazing, with some bad blood, drama, constant offense and high scoring. So, what can we learn from hockey? How about icing?! Why can't this rule exist on the pitch? If a defender or goalie gets the ball and boots it deep during the course of action, and the ball makes it to midfield and is touched by the other team, that team should get a free kick from 30 yards out. Why wouldn't this be interesting? You'd be forcing defenses to work to gain possession. It would make sprints to deep balls even more important. And how many more shots on goals would it create, at the same time not really making it a free-for-all on goals, unless you can bend it like Beckham. I think this is genius. (patting on back)

2) Replay - In most cases, I am not in favor of excessive instant replay. Anybody watching the NBA Finals this year should agree with that. (Side note: Checking every loose ball deflection ruined the NBA Finals experience for me. The officials awarded a ball to the Celtics because it technically touched a Laker last, but he was mauled by Rajon Rondo. Just not a good situation) BUT... replay in soccer could really help it out. I only say this because of the technology available and how important a goal is. Give each coach two challenges and the ability to look at offside calls (that aren't) and handballs (I am looking at you, Thierry Henry). It would certainly make the results a bit more assured, and probably cut back on riots and dead officials. Everybody wins!

3) Evolve the Vevuzela - The biggest storyline of the World Cup up to today were those stinkin horns. I still don't know how people keep those suckers humming for the entire match. But, I'll agree slightly with the casual fans at home, it is slightly annoying. However, it isn't much worse than hip-hop during the middle of action at NBA games, or the chicken dance on a baseball organ. Let's keep the horn, but add a little flavor. Make them sound a little more like kazoos and have whole fanbases perform songs. But, there needs to be a czar of approved music, to avoid 'Who Let the Dogs Out' or Soulja Boy.

4) In Americanized soccer (college), we allow unlimited substitutions and players to come back in after leaving the match once. What is wrong with that. International soccer guarantees that at least 8 players are on the field for the duration. Could you imagine the quicksand the NBA Finals would be played on right now if Andrew Bynum had to bust his broken wheel up and down the court each night? No thank you.

There, four simple solutions. You'd have folks in this country pushing soccer right past the PBA in terms of popularity. Those poor bowlers; I'll have to save that sport next.

- Will

The Little Things

The month of May flew by, and I never found myself in the mood to blog about the Indianapolis 500 (a local institution). I think that is symptomatic of a larger problem. The TV ratings were horrendous for the "greatest spectacle in racing," and the biggest storyline from the month was Danica Patrick pulling her best eight-year-old impression. Hissy fits and racing just don't mesh well.

Outside of the NHL Playoffs (seriously, watch every second of the Flyers-Blackhawks if you can; it's on Versus during the week; you need to know that), what is going on in the world of sports to make people excited? I saw Tiger smile on the golf course yesterday during the Memorial Skins Game. He wasn't wearing sunglasses while making his fifth attempt at a molester goatee. Step in the right direction.

I find myself tucked in the hills of SE Tennessee, broadcasting the 2010 NCAA Men's Golf Championships, and thinking back to a week where only the most loyal sports fan could be really excited. So, without further ado, here is why the world of sports is so great:

#1 - The power of the bounce back - Shameless shout out to my current work this week. But in round 1 of this championship, Virginia Junior Henry Smart started his championship with double bogeys on his first two holes. He limped it home to shoot 82 and not count for his Cavaliers team. His highest round this season so far: 76 (he came in off of back-to-back 68s in the NCAA Regional). Let's put it in perspective... He royally stunk up the Honors Course. Put me on the course with my 1.9 handicap (trending higher, beware!) and I've got a good chance of beating him. This is NOT a blog to blast Henry Smart. Why? Because he is an athlete with pride. Showed up yesterday in round 2 and owned the place. Finishing in near darkness, he calmly drained an 8-footer for par on the last, shooting 66, tying the competitive course record (set just minutes earlier) and breaking the 67 that Tiger Woods shot back when he was laying college girls in 1996 (oh, and winning an NCAA title) on the same course. Smart knocked 16 shots off his first-round score. You just can't write this stuff. Well, I guess you can. While standing just off of the 18th green watching this happen, a writer next to me said, "I never would have guessed that I'd be interviewing a kid from Virginia today who shot 82 to open the tourney." I hope he gets the Tiger treatment back on campus.

[Silent shout out to Alex Ching who also fired a record-setting 66. But, he had also shot 69 in the first round.]

#2 - A national championship decided in 5 seconds - No, not golf, but please tell me you watched the lacrosse national championship on Memorial Day. Duke won their first national championship and came all the way back from the scandal that marred the program and completely elevated the perception of "The Man" to the most sinister of heights. I got up as soon as regulation was over, went to grab a drink, and sit back down for sudden death. Then, CJ Costabile won the opening faceoff and owned some fools. It wasn't anti-climatic or too fast. It was Bad Ass! A long pole sprinted through everybody and busted a Joel Zumaya fastball passed a stunned goalie. I think the net in the cage is still vibrating. Lacrosse is coming on fast in this country, and that goal was the explosive play that may do more to advance the sport. It had everything: power, speed, suddenness, drama, despair and the most-needed characteristic of an epic moment... the 10-second afterthought where you stare at the TV stunned and say, "What the f*@$ just happened?!?"

I hope the Dukies got to party hard after that one, with some high-end talent funded by one disbarred Mike Nifong.

#3 - My retirement savings are still in a shoebox - Ken Griffey Jr. retired yesterday. Guess he needed a nap after all! (Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night. Try the veal) Do you know what my first thought was about him. Nope, not the catch in the old Kingdome. Or all of the home runs. I will always think of his rookie baseball card for Upper Deck. It is THE card of my generation (anybody who is between the ages of 26-34 and collected baseball cards as a kid, before the mass production and internet ruined much of the business). Honestly, I would rather have that card than the mysterious Honus Wagner golden ticket. Why? I don't know. I just know that, for a period of my life, baseball cards were the greatest thing. I go back through what is left of my collection and can tell you that I idolized Andrew Dawson and Ryne Sandberg, and apparently Benito Santiago had a really good season. I had a subscription to Beckett, and actually thought that my thousands of cards would appreciate into millions of dollars. Only true sports fans, raised with this obsession understand this. And it is glorious.

[Epilogue - I did a basic Google search after writing this and came across this Amazon link to buy the card. I am pissed. This is what has ruined card collecting! I don't have to find a collector the old-fashioned way. And think what $99.99 was to a 10-year-old back in 1991!!! I may blow some savings just to buy this card out of principle.]

So, today, as you watch the minutes tick away towards the start of the NBA Finals (yawn, but I'll watch), remember all of the little things that keep sports great. Forget Jim Joyce and his blunder last night costing all of us another perfect game. Instead, go grab a beer at a minor league game and watch a player try to stretch a double into a triple, just because he is trying hard. (Don't hate on that suggestion... I gave you a beer at the start)

-Will

Back From The Dead

Thanks to the inability of the Hawks (wow), the Spurs (Steve Nash's swollen eye just made him my favorite basketball ever... this week) and the Jazz (apparently Game 4 wasn't necessary), the only NBA playoff series left (and worth watching, I guess) is the surprising Cavs-Celtics series.

At the time I started writing this, Jesus hit a 3 to give Beantown a 21-point lead... IN Cleveland. What the hell? Who performed the voodoo on Boston? This team was 5.9 feet under ground heading into the playoffs.

(15-point game now... Maybe I can blog the Cavs back into the game)

((I have no rooting interest))

(((I can't believe I am blogging this much about the Association)))

Rajon Rondo just hit a big 3. When did he learn how to shoot? He had a better chance of getting turned down for free 'massages' in Lexington during his college days then hitting an outside jump shot. I still remember covering Rondo in the NCAA Tournament. His hands are alienesque. Freak nasty hands. He could palm a ball and still drink a cup of tea with the Queen, you know, because that would be fun.

(18-point game nearing the end of the 3rd; Maybe I can keep this up and finish a relevant blog)

The Celtics resurgence and willingness to mockingly laugh in the face of the AARP made me think about how many things get surprisingly better with age. Garnett, Ray-Jesus, Pierce, Sheed (okay, maybe not Sheed) and Finley should all be nursing ice bags and Centrum Silver, but they are finding ways to play beautifully. What else in my life compares in the department of "better with age"...

Wine

I know, I know, this is too easy, but think about it: When you went to college and somebody mentioned wine, you shivered. You would honestly rather shoot a Four Horsemen then drink a glass of Merlot. The other night at a dinner, I talked to somebody for 10 minutes on the flavor differences between a Shiraz, a Cabernet and the 'blow-your-mind' Shiraz-Cab blend. WTF?!?! Somebody kick me in the balls and had me a High Life. But seriously, when did the palette shift? It really does get better as you age. Weird.

(Celtics up 22 now early in the 4th. Does this officially push Lebron to a bigger market? Oh, the shame!!)

U2

I really struggled to think of the perfect band for here. I toyed with Black Crowes, The Eagles and even Billy Joel, but this was a no-brainer. I am 29-years-old, so I grew up in the midst of the alternative movement. Too young to really grasp The Joshua Tree, and the songs on the radio did not do U2 any justice. Throw them in with a group like REM as a band that was cool to people 5-years older than me, but not edgy enough to compete with the noise to hang with Nirvana, Pearl Jam (oooh, a candidate for better with age) and the rest. But then Bono and the Edge kept plugging away. [Side note: The Edge doesn't get enough credit for his guitar playing. He's up there; way up there. Listen to the sound he gets out of his guitar]

Now, it helps that U2 is incredibly culturally relevant, but don't tell me you don't walk with more pep in your step when 'Where the Streets Have No Name' comes on. I was singing 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' with the windows down the other day. I am old, like U2, and am still somewhat cool for it. Now, I need to figure out how to wear sunglasses all day, even when indoors.

(92-68 Boston, 8:00 left; You're welcome, New England)

Yard Work

Yep, my life is a lame, suburban nightmare. I drink wine, listen to U2 and prune. I swear I am cooler than that, but am just pointing out the appreciation for things. Do I look forward to weeding and mowing the grass? Nope. But, I do it... Why? Because it's my yard damn it! I pay more money to banks, government, banks (ah, the 2nd mortgage) and insurance company that I am going to make sure my land looks good. I think I invest more in my grass than my own personal appearance. And for what? The sick satisfaction of walking my dog and seeing some dead patches and clover in my neighbor's yard and saying under my breath, "Yep, got you, fool!" [Please, dispatch professional help at any point in this blog]

(Sorry Cleveland. Don't worry, Lebron will become a reliable, clutch offensive performer soon... for the Jay-Z/Russian Nets.)

Okay, I need something really cool that gets better with age. Need to save my street cred tonight... Books? Um, napping? Ah jeez...

The Internet

Ha! Yep, I am going with the entire interwebs. Vague enough for you? Think about it from my perspective: First real group to go through all of school with some form of computers. Yes, I consider the glorified elementary babysitting of The Oregon Trail to be computer education. I remember the first time I saw the internet. I was 12. It was Prodigy. It had all of the sports scores from the night before on a computer screen. That wasn't cool, but the three-minute beep-scratch-beep-bonk dialup sound was awesome. Nothing you had ever heard. I have evolved with the internet and it only gets better. Even the dot-com bust didn't ruin it. It actually made it better because people finally realized that free access was the best. Now, I can rant into a black hole and nobody can stop me! It's the only place where in 10 seconds, I can find this, this and this and share them with EVERYBODY. The level of possibility is endless.

(110-83; Well, I guess there is always Game 6; Wait, they still have some game left? Yikes!)

Do yourself a favor, Cavs fans, just read this blog a few times to yourself and remember that some things do get better with time, including the Celtics.

[In case you were wondering, yes, this entire entry could have fit on Rondo's left hand in 12-point, Courier New font.]

- Will

The REAL Stories

I've been a bit removed from the day-to-day connection with the world thanks to a conference in New Orleans (fun to visit; couldn't do it every day) and was struck by the sports stories for this past week. In no particular order, these are the top three stories for this past week:

1) Some kid gets tased running on the field at a Phillies game. Hysterically, he called his father before doing it to ask for his advice. I'm going to make sure I call my dad the next time I think about committing genocide. "Yo dad, what do you think about my exterminating a group of people? Just wanted to run it by you."

2) Former NY Giants star Lawrence Taylor slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night. It also came with (alleged) forced prostitution with a 16-year-old. He should've used the parental controls to turn off all adult content.

3) A Virginia lacrosse player got mad at his girlfriend and beat her to death. (I can't bring myself to get humorous with that)

So, what do these three topics have in common? They have NOTHING to do with sports. Yes, read that again; it's true. One took place at a sporting event. One involved a former professional athlete. The other involved two collegiate athletes. But nothing about the stories have anything to do with the sports, the games, the X's & O's, the competition, the wins and losses. Sports journalism is competing with TMZ and every other sensational media outlet that is growing a market share because we love being the passerby of a car wreck.

It's really sad. I understand the fame and attention that comes with athletes being in the spotlight, but it ruins the good stories that are out there. And, on an even more simplistic level, it takes away from the purity of the sporting events themselves.

So, as you are no doubt one of the 14 total readers of this blog, let me shelter you from the tabloids and tragedy and give you the real stories from the past few days...

Jamie Moyer becomes the oldest pitcher to throw a complete-game shutout

Moyer is old. Crazy old. Forty-seven years old. He was born before the Beatles came to the US. He struck out a player last night (Brandon Hicks) who was born after the release of Thriller. I know baseball allows for more longevity, but my arm is sore the morning after tossing a tennis ball at the dog park. Is it surprising? Maybe not, but there are probably a few reasons:

1) He has eight children. He either is in great shape chasing them around, or needs the ballpark to escape.

2) His father-in-law is Digger Phelps. Yep, THAT Digger Phelps. Motivation to stay away from the family BBQs

3) He can still throw 105 pitches in nine innings, give up just two hits and dominate a roster full of millionaires.

Yeah, I think #3 might be the winner.

The NBA started playing basketball (except in Atlanta)

I've gone to this topic before, but NBA playoff basketball is getting compelling. Possessions matter, games are competitive, and nice little storylines are developing. I am not scheduling my nights around tip times in NBA cities yet, but there are some good little histories being written, and we still haven't gotten out of the second round. In order from least to most entertaining...

1) Orlando throttling Atlanta - In today's game 3, they showed a graphic of the most lopsided series in the last 30 years of the playoffs. If you are a Hawks fan, this is depressing for two reasons. It was relevant at the moment (The Magic turned it into a laugher early enough) AND the producers found it interesting enough to build heading into just the third game of the series. Buh-bye Atlanta.

2) The Phoenix Suns are playoff relevant - I would generally dump the San Antonio Spurs at this moment because they are aging (this excuse doesn't mean as much because of 'see below'), and an infusion of Richard Jefferson does not make you a title contender. But, how about the Suns? Steve Nash is saving white-man hoops and is entirely too much fun to watch. D'Antoni ball version 2.1 might actually be something.

3) The Cavs will beat the Celtics BUT... - What was Game 2? I'll tell you: A reason to watch the series. Outside of LeBron being the freak athlete of my generation, the resurrection of Boston was compelling, up until Bron Bron looked down at his jersey (well, maybe he saw his name on the back of a jersey in the mirror) and decided to play. But, riddle me this... Because of what Rondo and the C's were able to do in Game 2, you still want to watch Game 4.

4) The Lakers are must-see TV - Gasol is playing like it matters. Kobe is an alpha dog who finds ways to get things done. Artest is publicly complaining about his coach, but holding onto his sanity. How long can that last? There is no way the Lakers shouldn't make the Finals. And, despite regular season results, I see no reason why they should ever lose a seven-game series. But, something could go wrong, right? Whether or not you like the Lakers, you have to watch them. There is something fun about it.

Lefty can overtake Tiger for #1 in the world

Something weird happened this week. A bunch of media members covering the Tiger Woods train wreck ran out of train wreck material. Can't you see this at Sawgrass: A bunch of news reporters show up with no new questions, no new skanks, no new midnight sex runs and they need a story. 'Hmm, what is Tiger doing this week? Playing golf??' Yep, the amount of coverage has come full circle and now we are talking about golf.

It's refreshing. Tiger's rounds are being live blogged, interrupted on news shows and dissected completely. But, it is becoming a remarkable case study in how distractions can alter the performance of the absolute best. He has had his world flipped and now can't hit a fairway. As a golfer, I honestly think it legitimizes the game more. Either that, or every 15-handicapper with a Saturday morning tee time is feeling up his wife the night before. Sorry ladies.

To stay or to go

Today was the deadline for college players to leave their names in the NBA Draft. Big story for me and Indy: Gordon Hayward is going professional. Anybody with any knowledge on the situation knew he was gone the moment he put his name in. Actually, he was probably gone the moment he stepped foot on the floor of that championship game.

I don't want to label the decisions of players who kept their names in the draft as smart (Hayward), questionable (Jordan Crawford) or downright idiotic (hello, Samardo Samuels), but the whole process does shine a light on the crazed attitude of fans out there. Grown men who hide behind the anonymity of a message board and preach about why a young man should or shouldn't do something. Nobody can tell me that their opinion is better than Hayward's. But, somehow the purchasing of a ticket has given a complete stranger and unfounded ownership over his decisions. Maybe I can capitalize on this. Tomorrow, I am going to tell my hairdresser to sell her car. After that, my insurance agent will get a new paint scheme on his house, courtesy of me. And I'll wrap my day by making sure my neighbor mows my lawn. After all, he did take my advice on a good restaurant the other day.

See, good things happened this week. The NHL series are great, especially if you live in Philly or Boston. The level of hatred between the two is palpable. The Cubs have a 20-year-old All Star in the making playing shortstop now. JaMarcus Russell is no longer a Raider, but is still an Eater. See, there is actual sports to follow.

Check that... Apparently the Saints coaching staff abuses pain killers. Perhaps they bought it from Brian Cushing's dealer. Ugh...

- Will