1) Some kid gets tased running on the field at a Phillies game. Hysterically, he called his father before doing it to ask for his advice. I'm going to make sure I call my dad the next time I think about committing genocide. "Yo dad, what do you think about my exterminating a group of people? Just wanted to run it by you."
2) Former NY Giants star Lawrence Taylor slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night. It also came with (alleged) forced prostitution with a 16-year-old. He should've used the parental controls to turn off all adult content.
3) A Virginia lacrosse player got mad at his girlfriend and beat her to death. (I can't bring myself to get humorous with that)
So, what do these three topics have in common? They have NOTHING to do with sports. Yes, read that again; it's true. One took place at a sporting event. One involved a former professional athlete. The other involved two collegiate athletes. But nothing about the stories have anything to do with the sports, the games, the X's & O's, the competition, the wins and losses. Sports journalism is competing with TMZ and every other sensational media outlet that is growing a market share because we love being the passerby of a car wreck.
It's really sad. I understand the fame and attention that comes with athletes being in the spotlight, but it ruins the good stories that are out there. And, on an even more simplistic level, it takes away from the purity of the sporting events themselves.
So, as you are no doubt one of the 14 total readers of this blog, let me shelter you from the tabloids and tragedy and give you the real stories from the past few days...
Jamie Moyer becomes the oldest pitcher to throw a complete-game shutout
Moyer is old. Crazy old. Forty-seven years old. He was born before the Beatles came to the US. He struck out a player last night (Brandon Hicks) who was born after the release of Thriller. I know baseball allows for more longevity, but my arm is sore the morning after tossing a tennis ball at the dog park. Is it surprising? Maybe not, but there are probably a few reasons:
1) He has eight children. He either is in great shape chasing them around, or needs the ballpark to escape.
2) His father-in-law is Digger Phelps. Yep, THAT Digger Phelps. Motivation to stay away from the family BBQs
3) He can still throw 105 pitches in nine innings, give up just two hits and dominate a roster full of millionaires.
Yeah, I think #3 might be the winner.
The NBA started playing basketball (except in Atlanta)
I've gone to this topic before, but NBA playoff basketball is getting compelling. Possessions matter, games are competitive, and nice little storylines are developing. I am not scheduling my nights around tip times in NBA cities yet, but there are some good little histories being written, and we still haven't gotten out of the second round. In order from least to most entertaining...
1) Orlando throttling Atlanta - In today's game 3, they showed a graphic of the most lopsided series in the last 30 years of the playoffs. If you are a Hawks fan, this is depressing for two reasons. It was relevant at the moment (The Magic turned it into a laugher early enough) AND the producers found it interesting enough to build heading into just the third game of the series. Buh-bye Atlanta.
2) The Phoenix Suns are playoff relevant - I would generally dump the San Antonio Spurs at this moment because they are aging (this excuse doesn't mean as much because of 'see below'), and an infusion of Richard Jefferson does not make you a title contender. But, how about the Suns? Steve Nash is saving white-man hoops and is entirely too much fun to watch. D'Antoni ball version 2.1 might actually be something.
3) The Cavs will beat the Celtics BUT... - What was Game 2? I'll tell you: A reason to watch the series. Outside of LeBron being the freak athlete of my generation, the resurrection of Boston was compelling, up until Bron Bron looked down at his jersey (well, maybe he saw his name on the back of a jersey in the mirror) and decided to play. But, riddle me this... Because of what Rondo and the C's were able to do in Game 2, you still want to watch Game 4.
4) The Lakers are must-see TV - Gasol is playing like it matters. Kobe is an alpha dog who finds ways to get things done. Artest is publicly complaining about his coach, but holding onto his sanity. How long can that last? There is no way the Lakers shouldn't make the Finals. And, despite regular season results, I see no reason why they should ever lose a seven-game series. But, something could go wrong, right? Whether or not you like the Lakers, you have to watch them. There is something fun about it.
Lefty can overtake Tiger for #1 in the world
Something weird happened this week. A bunch of media members covering the Tiger Woods train wreck ran out of train wreck material. Can't you see this at Sawgrass: A bunch of news reporters show up with no new questions, no new skanks, no new midnight sex runs and they need a story. 'Hmm, what is Tiger doing this week? Playing golf??' Yep, the amount of coverage has come full circle and now we are talking about golf.
It's refreshing. Tiger's rounds are being live blogged, interrupted on news shows and dissected completely. But, it is becoming a remarkable case study in how distractions can alter the performance of the absolute best. He has had his world flipped and now can't hit a fairway. As a golfer, I honestly think it legitimizes the game more. Either that, or every 15-handicapper with a Saturday morning tee time is feeling up his wife the night before. Sorry ladies.
To stay or to go
Today was the deadline for college players to leave their names in the NBA Draft. Big story for me and Indy: Gordon Hayward is going professional. Anybody with any knowledge on the situation knew he was gone the moment he put his name in. Actually, he was probably gone the moment he stepped foot on the floor of that championship game.
I don't want to label the decisions of players who kept their names in the draft as smart (Hayward), questionable (Jordan Crawford) or downright idiotic (hello, Samardo Samuels), but the whole process does shine a light on the crazed attitude of fans out there. Grown men who hide behind the anonymity of a message board and preach about why a young man should or shouldn't do something. Nobody can tell me that their opinion is better than Hayward's. But, somehow the purchasing of a ticket has given a complete stranger and unfounded ownership over his decisions. Maybe I can capitalize on this. Tomorrow, I am going to tell my hairdresser to sell her car. After that, my insurance agent will get a new paint scheme on his house, courtesy of me. And I'll wrap my day by making sure my neighbor mows my lawn. After all, he did take my advice on a good restaurant the other day.
See, good things happened this week. The NHL series are great, especially if you live in Philly or Boston. The level of hatred between the two is palpable. The Cubs have a 20-year-old All Star in the making playing shortstop now. JaMarcus Russell is no longer a Raider, but is still an Eater. See, there is actual sports to follow.
Check that... Apparently the Saints coaching staff abuses pain killers. Perhaps they bought it from Brian Cushing's dealer. Ugh...
- Will
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