The Little Things

The month of May flew by, and I never found myself in the mood to blog about the Indianapolis 500 (a local institution). I think that is symptomatic of a larger problem. The TV ratings were horrendous for the "greatest spectacle in racing," and the biggest storyline from the month was Danica Patrick pulling her best eight-year-old impression. Hissy fits and racing just don't mesh well.

Outside of the NHL Playoffs (seriously, watch every second of the Flyers-Blackhawks if you can; it's on Versus during the week; you need to know that), what is going on in the world of sports to make people excited? I saw Tiger smile on the golf course yesterday during the Memorial Skins Game. He wasn't wearing sunglasses while making his fifth attempt at a molester goatee. Step in the right direction.

I find myself tucked in the hills of SE Tennessee, broadcasting the 2010 NCAA Men's Golf Championships, and thinking back to a week where only the most loyal sports fan could be really excited. So, without further ado, here is why the world of sports is so great:

#1 - The power of the bounce back - Shameless shout out to my current work this week. But in round 1 of this championship, Virginia Junior Henry Smart started his championship with double bogeys on his first two holes. He limped it home to shoot 82 and not count for his Cavaliers team. His highest round this season so far: 76 (he came in off of back-to-back 68s in the NCAA Regional). Let's put it in perspective... He royally stunk up the Honors Course. Put me on the course with my 1.9 handicap (trending higher, beware!) and I've got a good chance of beating him. This is NOT a blog to blast Henry Smart. Why? Because he is an athlete with pride. Showed up yesterday in round 2 and owned the place. Finishing in near darkness, he calmly drained an 8-footer for par on the last, shooting 66, tying the competitive course record (set just minutes earlier) and breaking the 67 that Tiger Woods shot back when he was laying college girls in 1996 (oh, and winning an NCAA title) on the same course. Smart knocked 16 shots off his first-round score. You just can't write this stuff. Well, I guess you can. While standing just off of the 18th green watching this happen, a writer next to me said, "I never would have guessed that I'd be interviewing a kid from Virginia today who shot 82 to open the tourney." I hope he gets the Tiger treatment back on campus.

[Silent shout out to Alex Ching who also fired a record-setting 66. But, he had also shot 69 in the first round.]

#2 - A national championship decided in 5 seconds - No, not golf, but please tell me you watched the lacrosse national championship on Memorial Day. Duke won their first national championship and came all the way back from the scandal that marred the program and completely elevated the perception of "The Man" to the most sinister of heights. I got up as soon as regulation was over, went to grab a drink, and sit back down for sudden death. Then, CJ Costabile won the opening faceoff and owned some fools. It wasn't anti-climatic or too fast. It was Bad Ass! A long pole sprinted through everybody and busted a Joel Zumaya fastball passed a stunned goalie. I think the net in the cage is still vibrating. Lacrosse is coming on fast in this country, and that goal was the explosive play that may do more to advance the sport. It had everything: power, speed, suddenness, drama, despair and the most-needed characteristic of an epic moment... the 10-second afterthought where you stare at the TV stunned and say, "What the f*@$ just happened?!?"

I hope the Dukies got to party hard after that one, with some high-end talent funded by one disbarred Mike Nifong.

#3 - My retirement savings are still in a shoebox - Ken Griffey Jr. retired yesterday. Guess he needed a nap after all! (Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night. Try the veal) Do you know what my first thought was about him. Nope, not the catch in the old Kingdome. Or all of the home runs. I will always think of his rookie baseball card for Upper Deck. It is THE card of my generation (anybody who is between the ages of 26-34 and collected baseball cards as a kid, before the mass production and internet ruined much of the business). Honestly, I would rather have that card than the mysterious Honus Wagner golden ticket. Why? I don't know. I just know that, for a period of my life, baseball cards were the greatest thing. I go back through what is left of my collection and can tell you that I idolized Andrew Dawson and Ryne Sandberg, and apparently Benito Santiago had a really good season. I had a subscription to Beckett, and actually thought that my thousands of cards would appreciate into millions of dollars. Only true sports fans, raised with this obsession understand this. And it is glorious.

[Epilogue - I did a basic Google search after writing this and came across this Amazon link to buy the card. I am pissed. This is what has ruined card collecting! I don't have to find a collector the old-fashioned way. And think what $99.99 was to a 10-year-old back in 1991!!! I may blow some savings just to buy this card out of principle.]

So, today, as you watch the minutes tick away towards the start of the NBA Finals (yawn, but I'll watch), remember all of the little things that keep sports great. Forget Jim Joyce and his blunder last night costing all of us another perfect game. Instead, go grab a beer at a minor league game and watch a player try to stretch a double into a triple, just because he is trying hard. (Don't hate on that suggestion... I gave you a beer at the start)

-Will

Back From The Dead

Thanks to the inability of the Hawks (wow), the Spurs (Steve Nash's swollen eye just made him my favorite basketball ever... this week) and the Jazz (apparently Game 4 wasn't necessary), the only NBA playoff series left (and worth watching, I guess) is the surprising Cavs-Celtics series.

At the time I started writing this, Jesus hit a 3 to give Beantown a 21-point lead... IN Cleveland. What the hell? Who performed the voodoo on Boston? This team was 5.9 feet under ground heading into the playoffs.

(15-point game now... Maybe I can blog the Cavs back into the game)

((I have no rooting interest))

(((I can't believe I am blogging this much about the Association)))

Rajon Rondo just hit a big 3. When did he learn how to shoot? He had a better chance of getting turned down for free 'massages' in Lexington during his college days then hitting an outside jump shot. I still remember covering Rondo in the NCAA Tournament. His hands are alienesque. Freak nasty hands. He could palm a ball and still drink a cup of tea with the Queen, you know, because that would be fun.

(18-point game nearing the end of the 3rd; Maybe I can keep this up and finish a relevant blog)

The Celtics resurgence and willingness to mockingly laugh in the face of the AARP made me think about how many things get surprisingly better with age. Garnett, Ray-Jesus, Pierce, Sheed (okay, maybe not Sheed) and Finley should all be nursing ice bags and Centrum Silver, but they are finding ways to play beautifully. What else in my life compares in the department of "better with age"...

Wine

I know, I know, this is too easy, but think about it: When you went to college and somebody mentioned wine, you shivered. You would honestly rather shoot a Four Horsemen then drink a glass of Merlot. The other night at a dinner, I talked to somebody for 10 minutes on the flavor differences between a Shiraz, a Cabernet and the 'blow-your-mind' Shiraz-Cab blend. WTF?!?! Somebody kick me in the balls and had me a High Life. But seriously, when did the palette shift? It really does get better as you age. Weird.

(Celtics up 22 now early in the 4th. Does this officially push Lebron to a bigger market? Oh, the shame!!)

U2

I really struggled to think of the perfect band for here. I toyed with Black Crowes, The Eagles and even Billy Joel, but this was a no-brainer. I am 29-years-old, so I grew up in the midst of the alternative movement. Too young to really grasp The Joshua Tree, and the songs on the radio did not do U2 any justice. Throw them in with a group like REM as a band that was cool to people 5-years older than me, but not edgy enough to compete with the noise to hang with Nirvana, Pearl Jam (oooh, a candidate for better with age) and the rest. But then Bono and the Edge kept plugging away. [Side note: The Edge doesn't get enough credit for his guitar playing. He's up there; way up there. Listen to the sound he gets out of his guitar]

Now, it helps that U2 is incredibly culturally relevant, but don't tell me you don't walk with more pep in your step when 'Where the Streets Have No Name' comes on. I was singing 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' with the windows down the other day. I am old, like U2, and am still somewhat cool for it. Now, I need to figure out how to wear sunglasses all day, even when indoors.

(92-68 Boston, 8:00 left; You're welcome, New England)

Yard Work

Yep, my life is a lame, suburban nightmare. I drink wine, listen to U2 and prune. I swear I am cooler than that, but am just pointing out the appreciation for things. Do I look forward to weeding and mowing the grass? Nope. But, I do it... Why? Because it's my yard damn it! I pay more money to banks, government, banks (ah, the 2nd mortgage) and insurance company that I am going to make sure my land looks good. I think I invest more in my grass than my own personal appearance. And for what? The sick satisfaction of walking my dog and seeing some dead patches and clover in my neighbor's yard and saying under my breath, "Yep, got you, fool!" [Please, dispatch professional help at any point in this blog]

(Sorry Cleveland. Don't worry, Lebron will become a reliable, clutch offensive performer soon... for the Jay-Z/Russian Nets.)

Okay, I need something really cool that gets better with age. Need to save my street cred tonight... Books? Um, napping? Ah jeez...

The Internet

Ha! Yep, I am going with the entire interwebs. Vague enough for you? Think about it from my perspective: First real group to go through all of school with some form of computers. Yes, I consider the glorified elementary babysitting of The Oregon Trail to be computer education. I remember the first time I saw the internet. I was 12. It was Prodigy. It had all of the sports scores from the night before on a computer screen. That wasn't cool, but the three-minute beep-scratch-beep-bonk dialup sound was awesome. Nothing you had ever heard. I have evolved with the internet and it only gets better. Even the dot-com bust didn't ruin it. It actually made it better because people finally realized that free access was the best. Now, I can rant into a black hole and nobody can stop me! It's the only place where in 10 seconds, I can find this, this and this and share them with EVERYBODY. The level of possibility is endless.

(110-83; Well, I guess there is always Game 6; Wait, they still have some game left? Yikes!)

Do yourself a favor, Cavs fans, just read this blog a few times to yourself and remember that some things do get better with time, including the Celtics.

[In case you were wondering, yes, this entire entry could have fit on Rondo's left hand in 12-point, Courier New font.]

- Will

The REAL Stories

I've been a bit removed from the day-to-day connection with the world thanks to a conference in New Orleans (fun to visit; couldn't do it every day) and was struck by the sports stories for this past week. In no particular order, these are the top three stories for this past week:

1) Some kid gets tased running on the field at a Phillies game. Hysterically, he called his father before doing it to ask for his advice. I'm going to make sure I call my dad the next time I think about committing genocide. "Yo dad, what do you think about my exterminating a group of people? Just wanted to run it by you."

2) Former NY Giants star Lawrence Taylor slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night. It also came with (alleged) forced prostitution with a 16-year-old. He should've used the parental controls to turn off all adult content.

3) A Virginia lacrosse player got mad at his girlfriend and beat her to death. (I can't bring myself to get humorous with that)

So, what do these three topics have in common? They have NOTHING to do with sports. Yes, read that again; it's true. One took place at a sporting event. One involved a former professional athlete. The other involved two collegiate athletes. But nothing about the stories have anything to do with the sports, the games, the X's & O's, the competition, the wins and losses. Sports journalism is competing with TMZ and every other sensational media outlet that is growing a market share because we love being the passerby of a car wreck.

It's really sad. I understand the fame and attention that comes with athletes being in the spotlight, but it ruins the good stories that are out there. And, on an even more simplistic level, it takes away from the purity of the sporting events themselves.

So, as you are no doubt one of the 14 total readers of this blog, let me shelter you from the tabloids and tragedy and give you the real stories from the past few days...

Jamie Moyer becomes the oldest pitcher to throw a complete-game shutout

Moyer is old. Crazy old. Forty-seven years old. He was born before the Beatles came to the US. He struck out a player last night (Brandon Hicks) who was born after the release of Thriller. I know baseball allows for more longevity, but my arm is sore the morning after tossing a tennis ball at the dog park. Is it surprising? Maybe not, but there are probably a few reasons:

1) He has eight children. He either is in great shape chasing them around, or needs the ballpark to escape.

2) His father-in-law is Digger Phelps. Yep, THAT Digger Phelps. Motivation to stay away from the family BBQs

3) He can still throw 105 pitches in nine innings, give up just two hits and dominate a roster full of millionaires.

Yeah, I think #3 might be the winner.

The NBA started playing basketball (except in Atlanta)

I've gone to this topic before, but NBA playoff basketball is getting compelling. Possessions matter, games are competitive, and nice little storylines are developing. I am not scheduling my nights around tip times in NBA cities yet, but there are some good little histories being written, and we still haven't gotten out of the second round. In order from least to most entertaining...

1) Orlando throttling Atlanta - In today's game 3, they showed a graphic of the most lopsided series in the last 30 years of the playoffs. If you are a Hawks fan, this is depressing for two reasons. It was relevant at the moment (The Magic turned it into a laugher early enough) AND the producers found it interesting enough to build heading into just the third game of the series. Buh-bye Atlanta.

2) The Phoenix Suns are playoff relevant - I would generally dump the San Antonio Spurs at this moment because they are aging (this excuse doesn't mean as much because of 'see below'), and an infusion of Richard Jefferson does not make you a title contender. But, how about the Suns? Steve Nash is saving white-man hoops and is entirely too much fun to watch. D'Antoni ball version 2.1 might actually be something.

3) The Cavs will beat the Celtics BUT... - What was Game 2? I'll tell you: A reason to watch the series. Outside of LeBron being the freak athlete of my generation, the resurrection of Boston was compelling, up until Bron Bron looked down at his jersey (well, maybe he saw his name on the back of a jersey in the mirror) and decided to play. But, riddle me this... Because of what Rondo and the C's were able to do in Game 2, you still want to watch Game 4.

4) The Lakers are must-see TV - Gasol is playing like it matters. Kobe is an alpha dog who finds ways to get things done. Artest is publicly complaining about his coach, but holding onto his sanity. How long can that last? There is no way the Lakers shouldn't make the Finals. And, despite regular season results, I see no reason why they should ever lose a seven-game series. But, something could go wrong, right? Whether or not you like the Lakers, you have to watch them. There is something fun about it.

Lefty can overtake Tiger for #1 in the world

Something weird happened this week. A bunch of media members covering the Tiger Woods train wreck ran out of train wreck material. Can't you see this at Sawgrass: A bunch of news reporters show up with no new questions, no new skanks, no new midnight sex runs and they need a story. 'Hmm, what is Tiger doing this week? Playing golf??' Yep, the amount of coverage has come full circle and now we are talking about golf.

It's refreshing. Tiger's rounds are being live blogged, interrupted on news shows and dissected completely. But, it is becoming a remarkable case study in how distractions can alter the performance of the absolute best. He has had his world flipped and now can't hit a fairway. As a golfer, I honestly think it legitimizes the game more. Either that, or every 15-handicapper with a Saturday morning tee time is feeling up his wife the night before. Sorry ladies.

To stay or to go

Today was the deadline for college players to leave their names in the NBA Draft. Big story for me and Indy: Gordon Hayward is going professional. Anybody with any knowledge on the situation knew he was gone the moment he put his name in. Actually, he was probably gone the moment he stepped foot on the floor of that championship game.

I don't want to label the decisions of players who kept their names in the draft as smart (Hayward), questionable (Jordan Crawford) or downright idiotic (hello, Samardo Samuels), but the whole process does shine a light on the crazed attitude of fans out there. Grown men who hide behind the anonymity of a message board and preach about why a young man should or shouldn't do something. Nobody can tell me that their opinion is better than Hayward's. But, somehow the purchasing of a ticket has given a complete stranger and unfounded ownership over his decisions. Maybe I can capitalize on this. Tomorrow, I am going to tell my hairdresser to sell her car. After that, my insurance agent will get a new paint scheme on his house, courtesy of me. And I'll wrap my day by making sure my neighbor mows my lawn. After all, he did take my advice on a good restaurant the other day.

See, good things happened this week. The NHL series are great, especially if you live in Philly or Boston. The level of hatred between the two is palpable. The Cubs have a 20-year-old All Star in the making playing shortstop now. JaMarcus Russell is no longer a Raider, but is still an Eater. See, there is actual sports to follow.

Check that... Apparently the Saints coaching staff abuses pain killers. Perhaps they bought it from Brian Cushing's dealer. Ugh...

- Will

Let me ask you something

I am going to set the record straight. No member of my immediate family has ever worked in the "oldest profession." You will not find them on a dirty street corner looking for a little something, if you catch my drift. As for Dez Bryant, I don't know how he might describe that. Fortunately, nobody will ever ask him that questions. Oooooops. This story has blown up. I really don't know how to formulate an opinion, but it screams of being, at the very least, insensitive, irresponsible and unprofessional. There are millions invested in these players, but where is the line in researching the background of players?

I'm not going to go farther than that, but the whole thing got me thinking... Professional athletes aren't any different than you and me interviewing for a job, right? So, they have to get asked questions to formulate whether or not they will be an effective return on investment. So, I kept thinking... There have to be some sports folks who wish they could have asked a more probing question in the past. I smell a Top 10 list:

TOP 10 Questions That Should Have Been Asked of Sports Figures

10. (Okay, this isn't a question, but relevant today) The Oakland Raiders should have brought JaMarcus Russell in before the draft and put him in one of those focus group rooms with the one-way mirror on the wall. In one corner, a table with a box of Twinkies and a Gameboy. In the other, a table with a protein bar and a playbook. When he walked immediately toward the former, maybe the Raiders would have drafted a sprinter with bricks for hands instead of the world's fastest growing multi-millionaire.

9. From: Most NBA GMs from 1976-1990

"Have you ever had the urge to snort something in your nose or party with a racing heart rate?"

To: David Thompson, Chris Washburn, John Lucas, Michael Ray Richardson, Roy Tarpley and Shawn Kemp

I wanted to make some funny 'nose candy' references here and expand on this point, but would seriously steal almost every drug-related comment from Bill Simmons' The Book of Basketball.

8. From: The Indiana University Board of Trustees

"You have teenage children, right? I am assuming, with cell phones. Have they ever taught you what a text message or three-way call is?

To: Kelvin Sampson

Seriously, Sampson claiming ignorance on the three-way calls is one of the best deer-in-headlight excuses ever. The NCAA laughed inside closed doors, I'm sure. After the laughter, a nuclear bomb exploded in the IU Basketball Program.

7. From: Congress

"Did you take performance enhancing drugs?"

To: Roger Clemens

Wait, you're saying this question was actually asked? And Clemens said what? Misremembered?!?!?! Remember when American cared about baseball players taking steroids? I don't. I think that question above killed any interest in the story. In the end, a rich baseball player is still rich (albeit isolated) and chicks dig the long ball.

6. From: Steve Fisher

"Just checking, does everybody know how many timeouts we have left?"

To: Chris Webber

A great what-if... Does Webber get called for a travel if they actually had a timeout? I think he does. The officials were in such amazement at the situation, the trance was mesmerizing.

5. From: NHL, IndyCar

"How much would it cost for us to stay on ESPN?"

To: Themselves

This is still a to-be-determined category and things are looking better, but I've been on my couch the last five nights and have failed to see hockey because I simply forget it is on Versus. This isn't a knock on Versus because they are trying and dedicate to those sports. But, it isn't mainstream sports media yet. It's a step above internet streaming: You will get the audience that wants to find you, not the person flipping around. I hope I am wrong about this in 2-3 years.

4. From: Kiki Vandeweghe

"So, do you know how to play basketball?"

To: Nikoloz Tskitishvili

If anybody knows me, they know how much I like to make fun of Skita. I am convinced that he is a really tall guy who ran a game on the corner with three cards and a cardboard box. One day, he won a video camera in a bet, had a friend video tape him dunking and sent it to Colorado. Boom, 'With the fifth pick in the NBA Draft...'

3. From: Bobby Beathard

"How do you respond to criticism?"

To: Ryan Leaf

Not a loaded question, right? Wrong. Upon asking this question, Leaf would have gone all Jim 'Chris' Everett on poor Bobby. 'What the hell is that question supposed to mean? Who have you been talking to?' Ryan would have destroyed San Diego after that. Oh wait, he did destroy San Diego.

2. From: Steve Williams

"Who was that on the phone, dude?"

To: Tiger Woods

Honestly, tell me you wouldn't have talked Tiger away from some of those skanks if you were standing right next to him. I'm all for being the proper wingman, but help your man at least upgrade.

1. From: The BCS Organizers

"Does this help us finally crown an undisputed champion?"

To: Big Football Schools

The problem here is not the question, but where it was directed. I got handed a note card today with a guy's name on it running for school board. Nothing else; Just, 'Vote for Bob.' I don't know why. But, I have the power to choose and make an impact. I should be allowed to vote on the BCS. It should be a right.

Basic interview questions that would have changed the world. Or at least made it interesting.

- Will

This Week Snuck Up On Me

No, there is nothing flashy about this week, but when did sports come out of hibernation? I was flipping through the channels during a quick rest on Sunday and found myself hopping between 5 different networks for everything from playoff hoops and hockey, to golf and IndyCar racing. I had convinced myself (and my wife) that the sports world died a little bit after the NCAA Tourney and Masters wrapped up. Wow, am I getting old and out-of-touch. Somewhere, Will Haskett circa 1997 is hopping into a DeLorean with Doc Brown to come to the future and kick my ass. Sports is a 365-day-a-year commitment, you idiot! (Well, with the exception of the day before MLB All-Star festivities; literally nothing takes place on that day. Don't believe me? Watch SportsCenter that night. Jay Harris gives lessons on how to tie a Windsor and John Kruk demonstrates the art of eating a chili dog in two bites)

Because the week is so full, let's just hit the topics in no particular order...

NBA Playoffs

I was actually going to post a ridiculous prediction blog about who would win every first-round series and see how wrong/right I could be having not watched more than a handful of games all season. You know, for giggles. I don't despise the NBA. I'm a realist. I don't expect overpaid players to bust their ass for all 82 games in the regular season. I just don't. They take defensive possessions off, stand around and watch the star player score and run amok on the basic rules Naismith laid out a century ago (Apparently Pau Gasol inherited the Ewing travel). However, then the playoffs roll around. The games are given a Red Bull and the intensity is worth watching. My example: I watched most of the second half of the Lakers-Thunder on Sunday. There, I admitted it. First step to recovery... Anybody see Kobe's block of Durant in transition? When does that happen in the regular season? It doesn't. You know why? The key to that play isn't the vertical leap and block, it's the wind sprint Kobe does to get back. That kind of hustle only exists in the playoffs. Just ask Ron Artest, who is now playing defense. Just ask him nicely. (Side note: Can anybody imagine Kevin Durant playing basketball in the 80's, before supplements and weight gain regiments? How skinny would he have been. I'm thinking Manute Bol with an eating disorder. The bearded guy from those African infomercials would have to quit his day job and raise money for the Feed-Kevin fund)

NHL Playoffs

If the NBA regular season gets Red Bull, the NHL gets Chernobly! (If you haven't seen Hot Tub Time Machine, you aren't laughing right now) Remember the Winter Olympics and what it was going to do for hockey? That lasted about 72 hours. Wait, didn't I leave a blog around here about that? I think hockey is completely under-appreciated. But playoff hockey is like an explosion of speed, sweat, desire, energy, pain, violence, facial hair and ups-&-downs. (Ironically, that same description was used to describe the career of Ron Jeremy; weird) Playoff hockey keeps you on the edge of your seat for three hours while you try to figure out the mascots for Phoenix and Nashville, at the same time you figure out which Canadian provinces used to have a team. Do yourself a favor, get out an Atlas or GPS device and locate Versus on your TV and watch some hockey.

Brian Davis

I've gotten a few emails and texts this week as the resident competitive golfer to ask about the end of the Colonial on Sunday, where a player (Brian Davis) brushed a twig on his backswing, called a penalty on himself, and (essentially) lost himself the tournament. I'm not going to get on some high horse and say that it 'shows why golfers have more integrity than other athletes.' This is the same sport that produced Tiger 'Lay Em if you See Em' Woods. But, it was an interesting end to a tourney, from a man who had never won on the PGA Tour. The rule makes sense. He was in a hazard (no water, just mud and brush), which means he shouldn't be entitled to improving the lie of his ball, meaning he can't remove any nearby impediments. Brushing a twig while taking the club back isn't intended, but it's part of the rule. The lost message here is that HE was the only person who even noticed it, and still called it upon himself. That takes stones, knowing what you are giving up (400K, 2-year Tour exemption, probably some sponsor $$), but it's the rule. And, let's be honest... By yesterday, somebody watching a million replays would've called him on it. Strange way to end something, but a good day for golf. Why? Hell, I don't know why. People (AP) have said that, so it must be true, right? Right???!!????

NFL Draft

I plan on doing something a bit more formal on draft night, mainly because I want to see how many times Chris Berman gets flustered trying to fill time and segments. The NFL Draft is growing in ratings and I have no idea why. The time between picks is nauseating, especially when you consider that almost every conceivable option, at every conceivable pick, has been dissected for the past few months by every network. By the time Roger Goodell hits the stage for the 16th pick, we know every possible player available and really don't care what the pick is. Especially in a year with no sexy names available. Don't believe me? Name a player you are excited about in the draft... A player you will pay extra attention to next year in a regular season game. Yeah, hard isn't it. I like Ndamukong Suh, but I don't watch games for the DT. Sam Bradford?! Eh. Hope it works out, St. Louis.

High School All-Star Games

Saw a few of these on TV the past few weeks, headlined at the start by the McDonald's All-Star [Pickup] Game. You want to know why NBA players take games off? Because from a young age, they have been put on a pedestal and told they are special. These games are a complete joke. And you know what fuels them? Me, you and more college basketball craved fans. Why? Because we want them to play at our schools. We pay $9.99 per month to read "insider" message boards that post Tweets from kids about where they might play ball in college. Recruiting has become more interesting than the games themselves. The last time I seriously played a video game was probably NCAA Football by EA Sports. No joking, I would simulate 80% of the season, play the big games to make sure I won, and then spend most of my time recruiting. It was more fun than playing the actual game. So, now we allow kids to make their college choice on national TV at the halftime of these greedy games. I had an ego in high school with no athletic ability. Think about these kids.

I really didn't want to end this blog on a negative rant, so I'll leave with this: Donovan McNabb wants the Redskins to consider adding Terrell Owens to Washington. Oh please, powers that be, make this happen. Pretty please!

- Will

A Tradition Unlike Any Other

Ah, Sunday of the Masters. Nothing better than a lazy afternoon on the couch in April to watch the greatest golf tournament in the world. It's one of those days where you find yourself a TV, no matter what. Somewhere, a wedding is missing a groomsman; a wife is looking for her husband in a delivery room; and smoky, dark bars everywhere actually have golf on the big screens.

But, of course, this week has been about more than the greatest golf course and most prestigious tournament. It's been about Tiger Woods. I've put off commenting on the Tiger sex scandal for a few months, but today seems like the perfect time to break it down. I think it's fitting that Tiger came back to the Masters because his predicament can be compared, in a weird extended metaphor, to that of the Masters tournament itself. Think about it...

Something that is the best of the best, has the money and power to influence and control the exposure and coverage it receives, intimidating, elusive, mysterious and, yet, something everybody wants to be a part of. If there was ever a group of people that might understand Tiger's struggle over the past few months, it's the men in the green jackets. If not for the power they yielded, imagine how quickly they would be knocked from their throne. (Don't look for me to ever print something negative about the folks at Augusta. I'll be the first to admit that I will brown-nose as much as it possibly takes to get on that course.)

So Tiger showed up to the shelter of Magnolia Lane and got a welcome reception. Why? Because anybody that booed him would have been hastily escorted to the state line, badge snatched out of their clenched hand and told 'don't bother coming back.' Is it right? Probably not, but is it surprising? I don't know. Through all of this, I don't know if I have been more surprised at Tiger's deviant behavior, the complete meltdown of PR afterward or the welcome reception he got coming back.

Let's discuss the behavior, shall we? I have been fortunate in my life to be privy to some inside information as it relates to professional athletes. Infidelity never surprises me. The average fan would be shocked to know how prevalent it is. That didn't shock me. The depths of his nastiness, however, was something out of the trash novel. Just read the Howard Stern transcript of the Joselyn James interview and her memories of the "affair." I know it's the internet, but I can't post that stuff here. Even Tiger exceeded my own imagination. Anything he does on the golf course never surprised me. This stuff did.

I know that Tiger got therapy for his "sexual addiction." For the sake of not offending those in therapy, I won't go off on how ludicrous it is to be addicted to sex. Tiger is a man. I am a man. Men like sex. Guess I should seek help. But, I think this whole thing is simple. TW was a driven young man, a prodigy, who never was given the opportunity to really develop the other skills in his life, no matter how poised and media savvy he is. By "other skills" I mean dating. Think about it, when did he ever have the normal, learn-about-yourself-and-body experimental dating phase? He was either a) an overworked adolescent playing golf or b) an amazingly famous person incapable of a normal relationship. So, what do you think he did? What any red-blooded young man would do: he watched porn. Yep, you know why I know? Are you a man reading this? Then you know. I went to college the year Napster came out. File sharing was like shaking hands. Porn was everywhere if you needed it. Tiger is a few years older than me and had access to anything he wanted. Now, for most, it is all a fantasy. But what would happen if you are the richest man in the world? You can make anything happen. And Tiger did. Everything he's ever wanted, he got, so why not some freak-nasty pornstar booty?! There, problem solved. No charge. If Tiger has a therapist and this has never been addressed, that's a problem.

Should we like Tiger again? As a golfer, I can't not like his game. It's poetry to watch. I don't mind the outbursts either, because I was never considered "calm and collected" in competitive play. But that means we cheer a good shot. Should we cheer when he is introduced? A man, with two young children, who treated casual sex with hoochies like a four-footer for par. It will be interesting to see what happens when he wins. Maybe not this weekend at the Masters... Enjoy the golf!

Weekend of Events; Lifetime of Memories

I wanted this blog to be an outside opinion on the world of sports. I wanted it to be funny, somewhat insightful and, of course, a little self-serving (hey, it's a blog, in the age of 'everybody is an internet celebrity'). I also wanted it to be full of banter (don't worry, Tim is coming) and viewpoints. And then this weekend happened. My sports world got flipped upside-down with Butler in the Final Four. Hell, the final game.

A Final Four I was scheduled to be working at months ago, gathering stories and quotes from players for use by all of my media peers. I wanted this forum to be a place where I could share funny stories (don't worry, they are below) and a day-by-day blow about the inner-workings of the Final Four. And then, Butler was there. A program I've loved like none other since committing to the campus back in 1999. One team for which I still carry some bias. I was with the team for the first-ever modern NCAA win (No, I don't count stuff prior to 1970. Shoot me.). I was there for the gut-wrenching MCC Tourney loss in 2002 that led to biggest shaft in Tourney history. I was there for the first Sweet 16. I was there for the epic fall that followed. This weekend wasn't supposed to happen except in dreams and the minds of some ballsy players and coaches.

Then, the games were played. I can sum up each game in one thought:

Butler beats Michigan State - Neither team played pretty, but Butler wanted it more and fought for it. Plain and simple

Duke beats West Virginia - Both teams came out on fire, Duke decided to settle down and play defense. West Virginia didn't. Beat-down followed.

Duke beats Butler - One of the greatest games ever was decided by a future NBA swing man making tough shots and showing he was just a bit more physically ready than another NBA swing man that missed a chance at two epic shots. 80 combined minutes of brutal, competitive, brilliant, exhausting and crowd-pleasing basketball.

Butler almost won a national championship. Let that settle for a second. They had a shot (two shots) to win a national championship. I sat in so many press conferences over the weekend lamenting every time somebody brought up a Hoosiers reference, but when Butler took the floor, I did feel a little underdog in me wanting to kick the snot out of the big bad boy on the block.

Never before have I despised my media credential. I had great seats; glorious seats for the greatest games in Butler basketball history. Yet, I felt neutered. Like somebody gave me a lobotomy and took away my passion. I wanted to cheer, yell at Ted Valentine (he deserved it a couple of times), applaud great effort and high-five my neighbor. Instead, I bottled emotion like an ex-girlfriend with a grudge. It's my quote of the week for myself: "I feel like I left a piece of my sports soul in Lucas Oil Stadium." I turned into a vegetable watching the games, and when Hayward missed at the buzzer, instinct set in and I rushed onto the court to get the first interview with Kyle Singler. Yep, exclusive. He just torched my boys, but I was happy for him because he was genuine and professional to me. Isn't there something wrong with me?

I felt depleted the day after. Hungover with no alcohol. Because the carrot was dangled in front of us and snatched away right when we thought we could get it. But, the sun will rise tomorrow, and next week, and next month. And when it does, Butler University and Butler Athletics is 1,000% improved because of what happened over a couple of days. It started on Friday, when this was the scene in a football stadium:

All of this for a tiny school with less than 20,000 local alumni. Amazing.

On to the rest of the weekend. Like I said, it was all media, all the time at the Oil Can. Here are the ups and downs from the media explosion...

STOCK UP:

ESPN Reporters - Look, I know the 4-letter doesn't get a lot of love because of their power and glam, but what ever happened to keeping up some good appearances? Pat Forde, Dana O'Neill and Andy Katz all stood out in a room swelling with reporters because, well, they put themselves together that morning.

What is the deal with the deterioration of dress in a public place? I saw a girl with a media credential walking around with jeans littered with holes (seriously, I saw more thigh skin than denim) and a tight t-shirt with (cough), ahem, not a lot of, you know, "support" up top. She made Tiger Woods' rolodex look classy. Between that and the morbidly obese sportswriters who guzzle soda and pine for the free media buffet, I felt bad for sports journalism. The TV folks (especially local) are all glamour and little reporting. The print guys? reporting, from their hermit caves apparently. Maybe all print journalists should be forced to do one live TV shoot a month. Would that change their outlook on wardrobe and showering? (That was an homage to grumpy old people everywhere. I am channeling you!)

John Feinstein - Most enjoyable part of any press conference over the weekend was Feinstein playing dumb while asking the NCAA's Greg Shaheen questions about a possible tournament expansion to 96 teams either next year or in 2014. (Side note: If this NCAA Tourney did anything, it proved that the current model is just fine, thank you. Growing to 96 will water-down the field, kill interest in office pools for many and clutter the first two weeks of games, killing story lines and human interest. If it aint broke, don't fix it. This is so egregiously stupid and greedy, it's not even funny) Anyways, Feinstein called out the NCAA on their hypocrisy and had a brilliant exchange. Closest I've ever come to going to a reporter and giving a high-five. I won't rehash it all. You can read it here.

Basketball Coaches - The Final Four had four teams, but the coaching names were so big that last names sufficed: K, Izzo, Huggins (and Brad Stevens)... Think about this for Krzyzewski: he can be known by one letter... Coach K. Only 25 more options left in the alphabet. Talk about limited potential company. Although an unknown commodity until this weekend, Brad Stevens may have a better eye for game film, knack for team preparation and general IQ for hoops than the other three. I'm not sayin', just sayin'. Even beyond that argument, the weekend proved that, at least at the college level, coaching is still unbelievably relevant. It was a victory for college basketball purists, as teams with crazy, young talent (Hello Kentucky!) couldn't make it to the promised land. Instead it was balanced rosters with remarkable leaders at the helm.

STOCK DOWN:

Bob Kravitz - Ah, my hometown columnist. Look, I've never formally met the guy, but shared a number of media rooms with him. On Thursday, we shared a large one. As I was talking to two of his colleagues from the Indianapolis Star, he walks up to me and says, "Hey, is there any way for me to get a Diet Coke?" Mind you, I am wearing a nice suit, pressed shirt and rocking the same credential he is (granted, it does say NCAA on mine for the weekend). I guess that's what all waiters and food service professionals look like at his local establishment. Get a little cranky without that fake sugar buzz, huh Bob? (Please don't interpret this as me thinking I am important. I wasn't. But c'mon dude)

Mike Freeman - The CBSSports columnist wrote this misleading, contrived piece of garbage over the weekend, saying that Butler coach Brad Stevens is "irked" about the current facilities at Butler. I don't know if he was in the room during the press conference (I can't recall), but the quotes he uses to justify his point were taken completely out of context. This is what happens if you look merely at a transcript from a press conference, if that was the case here. I sat through almost all of this press conference, and those quotes were used more to talk about how special Butler is and how good of a story it is that they were there. Instead, it was used to bludgeon the whole when-will-Stevens-leave story to death. I don't mean to pick on Mr. Freeman here, because he was one of several writers over the weekend that went painfully fishing for stories.

3 personal favorites:

1. The writer who asked Stevens if he had a player put a teammate on his back to measure the rims, like in the movie Hoosiers.
2. Somebody asking Coach K (during his press conference after winning the national championship) what it was like reading the paper in the morning with the New Jersey Nets coaching job story.
3. In a losing West Virginia locker room, the question was posed, "Was tonight a disappointment?" (At that very moment, I prayed we were transported to an NBA locker room with that question directed at Ron Artest)

Hygiene - I can't get off this subject. I just can't do it. I look better watching sports, alone, on my couch than half of the writers in America sitting front-and-center for the Final Four. Since when did writing for the Topeka Journal Gazette Times website give you some sort of holier-than-thou authority to expect front-row seats that come with a wear-what-you-want mentality. (Where is the Guinness Book of World Records? I think I just set a record for most hyphenated descriptive phrases in that last sentence) There were fans sitting, literally, seven stories above the court that paid a week's salary to see a game, while Jumbo the Slob sat courtside, pecking away at his laptop. One day, a sporting event will institute a dress code and it will be glorious.

However, this lack of proper attire does have its benefits. If you show up to any sporting event wearing a suit, chances are you can do almost anything you want. It's becoming so rare that people just assume you are important.

I can't believe it is over. It took a full 24 hours to emotionally recover (this blog was saved 5 times over the past day because I just couldn't write it all at once) but everything was worth it, especially as life moves forward. Next year, some team might get to play 7 games to reach the title game. I need Feinstein to take over now...

- Will