It's not what's on the back of the jersey...

It has been over a decade since I was the part of an actual athletic team, competing with other individuals for a championship. (And even then, it was a golf team, so that counts as one-third; maybe) So, who is my team now? I can't cheer as an equal of my favorite sports teams. I haven't done the work, spilled the blood, shed the tears. But I've realized now that I do have a team...

The United States of America

No, this isn't a patriotic call to arms, but just a basic observation. Sports become entirely more interesting when the good ol' USA is on the jersey. I've got three recent reasons...

1) The World Basketball Championships - When was the last time you (hell, anybody) cheered for an outlet pass from Tyson Chandler to Andre Iguodala, or a kick out from Russell Westbrook to Rudy Gay? I did this week. Why? Because there are a group of guys who were willing to spend their offseason competing in an ever-improving international basketball competition, while others stayed home. It's the jersey, I swear. I will watch the games online. Yeah, we got the gold back in the Olympics, but the last time America won the World Basketball Championships? Hakeem Olajuwon was the NBA MVP, OJ "didn't" murder his wife and Nancy Kerrigan just wanted to question 'Why.' Yep, 1994. Wow! Get it done boys!

2) The Ryder Cup - Why can't it hurry up and get here? This professional golf season has been more about young American players choking (see Johnson-comma-Dustin or Watney-comma-Nick) than about them excelling, or providing anything worth watching. Look at the golfers who showed up with more balls than just their Titleists in the majors:

a) Mickelson - Been there, done that, and had the cajones to pull this off.

b) Graeme McDowell - Only person who bothered to grab the club tight and swing it

c) Louis Oosthuizen - Didn't read the papers and just kept the accelerator down

d) Martin Kaymer - Knew how to make a putt when it counted

What do the final three have in common? Not from this country. And two will be donning blue and gray trying to bring the Cup back. I want the US to prove they can actually win something.

3) LLWS - Japan finally beat the US at something. In honor of my grandfather, I say this for all WWII Vets and their misguided grudge... "Scoreboard!"

Honorable Mention to the US Open (tennis), for being the major after Wimbledon that allows for (gasp) creatively colored outfits, fist pumps, drunk fans and midnight matches. That's how we play it in Amurrica!

- Will

Welcome Back... Sort Of

I am working on a new entry before football season officially kicks off later this week. In fact, I am hoping to actually have storylines in the works in advance.

(Let me preface this mini entry by saying welcome back to Awful Announcing, one of the better sports blogs out there that went MIA, but has been brought back from the dead thanks to some writers)

I was excited next week to post an entry about "Top 10 Things I Learned from Watching Hard Knocks," only to see that AwfulAnnouncing beat me to the punch, with an entire episode still to be aired. C'mon boys. Well, it's an unlimited stratosphere of web content, so we should have plenty to both add. And then, Boom! #10 on their list is verbatim #2 on my list (of course, in draft form, so they win). That was my punch line. The clincher. The hook. I have been rendered useless, stale and unoriginal.

Back to the drawing board for now...

- Will

Random Musings From A Summer Spent In Relative Hibernation

It is time for me to stop riding Will's coat tails, and actually contribute to this blog. And I decided what better way than to just spout off on random topics from the summer months? So, without further delay, here is my debut with CTZ:
(did....did you see what I did there?....instead of Cover Two Zone, I abbreviated it to 'CTZ'...)

Am I the only one who finds themselves cheering more for Tiger Woods now? I mean, even before the world knew he was flying sluts all over the world into Pound Town, I appreciated his elite level of golf. (Or, at least as much as I could while alseep on the couch during a Sunday afternoon.) But, now he has been exposed, and everyone is jumping off his preverbial bandwagon. There is one thing we must all remember: Tiger Woods is a champion. And we all know champions don't go down like some punk bitches. Woods is about to embark on an international F-you tour to everyone counting him out. The last time the sporting word has seen something like this was with the Patriots in 2007.

Remember? The Patriots were respected for winning at an uncommonly high level in the NFL, then all sorts of drama came out about Spygate. How did they respond? With an undefeated regular season that set all sorts of records for offensive production. Same type of thing here. Woods is going to blow up all over again. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.

...after last night's game against the Colts, is there anyone that wouldn't put Aaron Rodgers in the top three QBs for fantasy football? He tore up a good Colts defense, and was without his top
wide receiver.

I really couldn't care less about the NBA, but I have a hard time becoming a Utah Jazz fan out of principle. I realize that, as a Butler alumnus, I am legally obligated to be a Jazz fan, but, really? The Jazz? I just can't see myself hustling home this winter to catch a Jazz game.

I switched coaching positions this year, and will be moving from Rockford High School on to Grand Valley State University. I'm not surprised if you didn't know about it. My decision aired on ESPN2 at the same time as Lebron's decision. No one in Rockford took to the streets burning bow ties though.

I can't wait for michigan football to start out 0-2 this year. They open with UConn at home, then travel to Notre Dame. One of my former players at Rockford is a manager at michigan now. He said Forcier isn't getting any reps with the first string. Gardner, the incoming freshman, is. (How is THAT for some inside infomation!!) If East Grand Rapids can shutdown Gardner (and they did), I have a feeling UConn and Notre Dame won't have much of a problem with him, either.

The Little League World Series is the only baseball worth watching. A kid gives up a three-run shot, and cries right there on the mound. Everytime I see that, I think of the scene from Step Brothers, when the parents tell Will Ferrell they are getting a divorce. Will Ferrell starts sobbing uncontrollably while saying 'I..think..I'm..going...to...throw...up'. Brilliantly funny. Gets me everytime.

I'm glad the World Cup is over. Now people can stop having to pretend they give a crap about soccer. And don't give me that 'you just don't understand the subtleties of the game' garbage. Soccer is boring. Vuvuzellas suck. End of story.

I think the next Olympics should do away with drug testing. All athletes should compete on the 'honor system'. I don't care about integrity in sports. I want to see some Hulked-up Russian 'chick' throw the shotput out of the stadium.

That's all I have for now. Thanks to everyone for reading. I promise to write more in the future, and in fact, will use this time to announce that Beat The Sports Guy will be coming to Cover Two Zone this fall. That's right, BTSG will be found only at CTZ. Be sure to check back in!

- Murray

Appetizers

The summer sports season certainly didn't help grow the readership of this blog. Sure, I was spending a few days on the road or the golf course, and not writing. But, what was there to write about? Roger Clemens is going to write the same "How'd You Spend Your Summer" essay as Lindsay Lohan. Brett Favre has gone from my favorite NFL QB Story to a cliche of most grandfathers: indecisive, creaky and self-righteous. And.... that's about all we've missed over the past month. (Oh yeah, Pete Dye's course design finally cost somebody a major unintentionally. Those circus designs were going to bite somebody other than me one day.)

Hurry Up Football Season! The scholarship athletes will be here a week from now. And, if Roger Goodell and his owners get their way, we'll be playing professional football this week, for real, by 2012. This week has me giddy for sports again because actual "sport" is taking place. Week 3 of the NFL Preseason is the one time when I feel like an actual scout. First teams play a significant chunk of time, so you get a feel for how your team will actually fare (1st Team Colts is better than 1st Team Packers, EDIT - I wrote this with 5 minutes left in the 2nd quarter. Despite the outcome, I still stand by it. A touchy pass interference call, botched punt/TD and silly Peyton int made a world of difference. I'd take the Colts in the regular season). And, let us not forget that every game is a tryout for my fantasy team. (I saw those buttery hands, Ryan Grant)

I've forgotten the art of football a little bit since early February. I like being able to just watch the game with nothing on the line. I am building up the excitement, wetting the appetite.

[Side note: How good is John Gruden in the booth? He is 1996 John Madden without the stutter. MNF finally found a team]

The other reason to be excited about sports: Little League World Series. There is so much drama and good balance between amazing, mature-for-their-age skill and sheer dumb, young mistakes. Watch the elimination games when you have to balance pitch counts and bring in 12-year-olds who have never thrown. Just pure, nail-biting drama. I would say it is one of the few remaining pure sporting events, but then we would have to forget Danny Almonte, and that would be wrong, wouldn't it?

[Side note: How good is Brent Musberger at the LLWS? Perfect pace for his delivery, like college football. (Not so much in college hoops) And, why couldn't I have had Musberger call a little league game of mine?]

You can't watch these kids play, as a sports fan, and not fall in love with competition and sports even more. You really can't. If you disagree, I'll file a stolen property report for your soul.

Do me a favor... Watch the elimination games tomorrow and take a mental picture. Then, when the World Series finally gets here and some overpaid juicers from the AL East beat up on some pitchers from the NL, tell me which was better.

So, get excited America... Sports is back and it's only going to get better. Feel free to frequent Cover Two a bit more starting next week as there will be a bit more content, including weekly football game predictions, maybe even against the spreads, not that there is gambling at all. Time to go rank my fantasy players again...

- Will

Ending the Silence

How boring has the sports world been the past few weeks? So boring, that this blog has gone from useless to downright deceased. A summer wrap-up rant is coming, along with increased chatter around football season. Oh, and that 'other guy' who is a member of this blog, who knows what ever became of him... http://www.collegelax.us/news/2010/08/24/slate-wiped-clean-at-gvsu/ (Love the tie!)

- Will

Longing For Younger Days

I was worried tonight that I was going to miss the start of the MLB All-Star Game. I had heard it promoted as a 7:45 start on ESPN radio. Fox told me to check in around 8:00. So, imagine my surprise when I was able to switch away from some other shows around 8:45 and still catch the first pitch. Of course, this is all tongue-in-cheek. Of course I knew the game wouldn't get started until close to 9:00. The event is more about the lead up now than the actual event. I understand that to a point. These media companies need to make money.

It's why I was not upset about LeBronapalooza last week. ESPN had to take that show. If not them, someone else gets great ratings and the profits that come from that. If anybody is to blame, it's the entourage surrounding LeBron, for putting that sham together. (Although, I do think the charitable benefit of the Decision is not being talked about enough) I am probably only bitter because Jim Gray was bought...err... selected to be the interviewer. I don't understand his reputation. I guess I still haven't gotten over his sensational, "look at me," interview with Pete Rose at the All-Star game in 1999. There are times and places to ask the tough questions or conduct the softball interview. At least, that's my opinion.

Which leads us back full circle to my mood tonight. Why do I not care one bit about the All-Star game? This is the same game I had to beg my mother to let me stay up (while with the flu) to watch 20 years ago because I wanted to see Andre Dawson play. I remember the Home Run Derby being the ultimate competition, one that I re-enacted in my backyard for 364 more days, with some creative help from a large bush, the neighbors fence and some juiced (grass stuffed) whiffle balls. So, what happened? I don't think my aging lost anything.

This may be a bit of a stretch, but I think the All-Star game meltdown is a larger symptom of the disease of sports athletes; where increased salaries and egos have taken away much of the older joys of sports. I'll spare some sort of lecture here.

Is it still an honor to be an All-Star? Of course it is. But, I don't remember the game resembling Kinder Care and MASH back in the 1980s. There are more players sitting with mild bruises, or bringing their litter of children to the game than ever before. Why? Because they can. With so much money invested in them, they are spoiled, yet high-risk investments. Thanks to the egos, everybody has to play too, so we get a scripted chorus line of players.

How does baseball try to fix it? By concocting some scheme where home field advantage in the World Series is riding on a game where the best of the best aren't even playing in crunch time. Brilliant! If anything, I think that rule made the game harder for me to watch. I actually find myself confused about whether the players are having fun, sort of trying or showboating. And the rule eliminates any possibility of Chan Ho Park Part 2, serving up a glory home run to Cal Ripken Jr.

So, I sit here tonight, enjoying the fact that Ryan Braun laid out to catch a fly ball (I would too if I has having his season; gotta justify that starting spot), but wondering if the players care enough about the game to put on a show worth watching. And, on a parallel thought, how we have removed ourselves from caring about the "stars" because of the 24-7 access we have to them. I want to DVR this game and watch every inning like it's a World Series contest, but I just can't. Hola, Hills series finale!

- Will

I promise... Last one

I am not as big of an NBA fan as the recent trend of blog topics would lead one to believe. But, let's face it, what has there been to really discuss this summer? Golf has been underwhelming since the Masters (nobody won the US Open; several people lost it). Baseball is boring right now (well, to me) because the Cubs stink and I can't find a good story line. The Rangers are a nice team, but are handcuffed to make any moves because they owe MLB a bazillion-gillion dollars. And don't get me started on Steven Strasburg (I hope I spelled it wrong)... Kid has amazing stuff, but nobody is worth this hype, especially somebody who plays for the Nationals.

We are quickly approaching what I want to become a national holiday for women: National Guys Don't Watch Sports Day (this year, it falls on Wednesday, July 14th) - It's the day when there is not one major professional or collegiate sporting event taking place. ESPN should run color bars for 24 hours and save some electricity. Every guy should buy his woman a handful of flowers, take her out somewhere with candles and wine (from a bottle) and maybe even treat her to an Amanda Seyfried movie. BUT... We are not there yet.

And, yes, after the NBA ruined my Draft experience last week (I am still looking for Rick Bucher; There was so little drama that night that he could've gone fishing with Cleveland's talent scouts; I am also still looking for Jon Barry's personality), I am going forward with one more NBA blog because the association continues to be the top story thanks to free agents. Basketball Hot Stove time!!!!

On the record, let me say that I am deeply sickened that we glamorize the sucking-up, greed and backstabbing that will take place over the next few weeks. Somebody will sign with a team because $126 million is better than $97 million. Hard to swallow these days. But, the best athletes carry the unnecessary hopes of cities and fans, so we eat this drama up like women ages 15-26 in front of a Taylor Lautner poster (side note: I don't get it with that kid. He works out, but talks like Alvin wrapping up chipmunk puberty. It would be like Jessica Biel opening her mouth and Tone Loc's voice magically appearing)

I don't know what I want to happen in NBA free agency. As a quasi-Pacers fan, I know they won't do anything and I think they are in a great position to make some deals and position themselves. Beyond that, is it good to have a super team in Miami or Chicago? Do we want teams to overpay and root for an ACL tear somewhere? Let's just agree on a list of the top 7 NBA free agents this off-season. I am going with:

1) The King

2) Dwade

3) Dirk

4) Bosh

5) Amare

6) Boozer

7) Pierce

Apologies to Joe Johnson, Rudy Gay and Brian Scalabrine for not cracking the top 7. Actually, no, I am not going to apologize. Dem boyz gonna get paid. Well, except for everybody's favorite towel waiver.

So, to greatly increase my interest in the league, here are where I hope all of those players end up. Working from bottom to top...

Pierce - I want him to re-sign with Boston. Then, I want Ray Allen to move on, Kevin Garnett to develop Greg Oden knee disease and Rajon Rondo to accidentally tie his massive hands in an unbreakable knot. Paul Pierce will be forced to buy out his own contract (or pay off Antoine Walker's casino debts) just to get away from the carnage. Sorry, that was harsh, but I am done with the Celtics. They ruined it for everybody with the "we laughed at the luxury tax and brought 3 Hall of Famers to win us a title but now we're the disrespected underdog" card.

Boozer - This is too easy. He signs a max deal with Cleveland, the franchise he left alone in their tuxedo on prom night back in 2004. Would this happen? Never. But could you imagine. Cleveland loses their savior (sorry, spoiler) and gets back the last All-Star player they had who flew the coop with a verbal agreement in hand. Brilliant. He would get Benedict Arnold treatment every night and Cavs fans would be in basketball purgatory. Deliciously evil.

Amare - I want him to work out a sign-and-trade that puts him on the Lakers. It makes no sense from a basketball standpoint, but from a fashion standpoint, hear me out. Nobody has worn the "goggles" quite as well since James Worthy. Yes, Horace Grant is the champion in this category, but in a completely different universer. The full rectangular rec specs could only be worn by a legend, so Horace is in his own world. Amare would bring more Showtime back to LA, in eyewear fashion. You know you see it...

Bosh - This is a tough one because I honestly don't think Bosh is any type of player, for two completely unrelated reasons:

1) He has never helped carry his team, in Toronto, to any level of success. Even big men can do that. Combine that with a reported desire to get paid like a #1 player, I don't think he gets it.

2) I got the chance to watch his younger brother, Joel, play a couple of college games for Alabama State. Wow was he big and intimidating like his brother. So much so that he averaged around 6 & 4 for his career. If you are going to be The Man, your skills better transcend beyond you. (Yes, that made no sense. I just wanted kudos for having seen Chris Bosh's brother play for Alabama State)

3) What, I said only two? Well, I've got one more: Bosh has said he wants to go somewhere where he doesn't have to play the 5 spot undersized. True winners and players who like to get physical seek out a challenge like that. So, with all of that said, I hope he signs with a team that is worthy of the agony his bloated contract will surely bring in two years: The Warriors (I should have said Clippers, but I am closet Clips fan)

Dirk - He is staying in Dallas, but please let him land in Utah. Yes, Utah. Why? So we have the long-term potential of this lineup... Deron Williams, Andrei Kirilenko, Gordon Hayward, Dirk and Mehmet Okur. Now, if only we could move Williams for Steve Nash or Steve Blake or White Chocolate. An all white NBA starting lineup would be reverse racism, yet shockingly appropriate in Salt Lake City. Yes, I know, pit nickers... I put two SFs in the lineup. Had to get Hayward in there. Had to.

Dwade - I like him for every reason imaginable: great skill set, warrior mentality, amazingly clutch, loyal to his current team, defender, 3-year college player. What is not to like?! He is Kobe without a 'Whoops' (also known as a misdemeanor Tiger) on his public record. Therefore, I believe he should get the best treatment and media story of all... Chicago. Go home, son. Could you imagine him and Derrick Rose as a backcourt?! They would lock fools down, and if somebody dared dribble past them, Joakim Noah would be there to block the shot with his breath, hair and (hate to say it now) talent. This marriage makes way too much sense but doesn't appear at all likely to happen.

Which leads us to...

The King - LeBron is butchering his image in this process. I don't understand why the hands-down best player of his generation needs to pump up his ego any more with the courting, mystery and other garbage. You don't know if he will take a chance with the Jay-Z/Vodka dynasty in New Brooklyn, or seriously consider sharing a free agent signing spotlight with another player (gasp) in Chicago or Miami [another side note: I want to see Miami end up with no players; literally, they would have a roster with no players except Michael Beasley. Awesome] All of this said, I want LeBron to end up on the Akron Assailants. Don't bother Googling them. The franchise doesn't exist. What if LeBron isn't wooed enough, doesn't like any setting perfectly and eventually burns enough bridges that there isn't a spot where both sides are happy? Flex some muscle, go to the one town where everybody will always love you, and petition David Stern to give you a brand new franchise in Akron. This is so out-of-this-world, it might be a possibility. Better yet, screw the NBA. Start your own franchise in Akron, bring in some D-league cities and start your own league. Maybe Isiah is available to run the whole thing.

Gotta run... I just heard the Knicks limo pull up outside my house...

- Will